Thursday, April 29, 2004
Damn work. Can't even be bothered to mention what's going on but the bottom line is I'm busy for the first time in ages today and as a result bloggage will be light. Still, I am on lunch now tho....
One of the benefits of having my own website now is of course the logs! To finally be able to see how many people are visiting and from where is great. I have to admit to having been a bit addicted the last few weeks, checking frequently to see if anyone new had looked in - I think my F5 key will wear out soon. Seeing for the first time some of my regular readers (there are not many of you). Trying to figure out which of my friends was taking a look by the location it was being accessed from. Then there are the search result that direct people here. I get so much traffic from people looking for information and lyrics to the song mentioned in this post (I am not mentioning the song again). My favourite was someone looking for "erotic gurkin" tho.
Of course the universe being what it is, there are also always surprises. Like finding one of your regular readers is someone that you thought you'd left in your past. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:58 AM
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I mentioned Shrek the sheep the other day - well, he's finally been shorn. Makes me wonder if thats what all sheep would look like if they were never clipped. I'd love to see a whole herd of 'em like that.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 7:00 PM
(ink via Bruce) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:27 PM
Suppose I'll dry out eventually. On another note, I did indeed dream myself into TV land again last night - this is getting weird now. Yesterday was a strange combination of two programs - Stargate and the always funny Spongebob Squarepants. Maybe I should stop eating cheese before I go to bed....? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:53 AM
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
A cute action game.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:52 PM
"How do you become a member of the university?"
I admire someone thats willing to spend 3 years studying and build up thousands of pounds of debt just to get some free software. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:46 PM
Now people have the right to do whatever they like and its not my place to judge (although why they would want to abstain from sex is beyond me) but I do find it hard to understand some of the things they seem to be encouraging. For instance that condoms are not an affective form of protection. Also seems to say that because most of the relationships that young people have never work out in the long run, you should just avoid them entirely - hence avoid temptation. Whilst it is true that young relationships rarely last, they are an important learning experience. I don't rate their chances of having a successful marriage if it's their first ever relationship.
Or you can look at the whole thing from another (base) angle like my workmate Bruce who's first thought was "So if you see someone with a silver ring on don't even bother trying cos you won't get any..." # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:21 PM
I hope I get to be on another good program tonight. Father Ted would be good. Or the Simpsons! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:10 AM
Monday, April 26, 2004
So after a serious post, time for something really silly?
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 12:13 PM
To me things are usually pretty black or white - right or wrong. Okay I'm not naive enough to think that there are no grey areas - other things that have to be taken into consideration - but surely its not too hard to try and do things for the right reasons? Take the recent train explosion in N Korea. Reports of hundreds dead and thousands injured, hospitals full to capacity with people lying on filing cabinets with stiches done with string, and yet the government is still trying to keep what happened quiet and delaying aid by days by refusing to let it cross the border.
There are good people out there and things are changing but not with the people in power. Maybe one day? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:56 AM
(link via Bloggerheads) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:27 AM
With the apparent onset of summer, I was prompted to head into town on a quest to find a few new items to add to my warm weather clothes selection. I get these sudden urges for new clothes once in a while (admittedly its usually when I'm depressed or wanting to impress someone) and I know it sounds cliched but there really is nothing like an image revamp to make you feel good about yourself.
After about an hour of looking in various shops and trying to avoid the seemingly never ending hordes of 13 year old girls wearing next to nothing that seem to infest the city centre in the summer (I was going to link to a term I found the other day actually - prostitots - but after one VERY brief visit to a couple of webpages brought up by that search I decided I was better off avoiding that forever!!) I had seen only two tops that I thought I liked - and only one was in my size! I ended up buying that as I felt after all the effort put into the trip I had to go home with something! And it is quite nice....
I do think it is a little unfair on us men. You ladies can go into shops and have the choice of clothes in every shape, style and colour - something to suit everyones individual tastes - whilst we men have a selection that's about as varied as a packet of M&M's. Unfair I say again! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:14 AM
Friday, April 23, 2004
All I can say is that my pub quiz may well be much easier in the future if we can use services such as AQA (Any Question Answered for all those that are wondering). Only reason not to use it currently is that its not worth spending eight quid getting the right answers (£1 charged for each question asked) when you only win 4-6 cans of Carling anyway....
We did try using a palmtop with internet access once at the quiz to cheat with. Unfortunately as the bloke was hiding it on his lap so as not to be accused of cheating, it looked like he was playing with himself through most of the quiz. We didn't even win then! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:47 PM
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Something for all the people that have been arriving here after searching for Gunter and the Sunshine Girls - an official Gunter website! Not really much to see beyond a rude interactive thingy with music...
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:57 PM
Anyway because of this lack of decent programs I have been channel hopping into areas that I don't usually venture. Anyone that has Sky will know that the first 30 channels are pretty decent - you have the terrestrial stuff and Sky One plus some of the comedy channels. There's also some rubbish but thats easily skipped past. After that I tend to jump straight up to the movie channels on 301. I have been pleasantly surprised to find some quite entertaining stuff in that large program wasteland in between recently though.
Let me stress that the reason its entertaining is because its mostly utter pants! DIY programs, programs about fishing, a whole selection of programs that revolve around people flirting by text message along the bottom of the screen whilst the top has presenters giving lovelife advice or some dodgy woman pole dances. Numerous game shows are on and I even watched virtual horse racing for the first time the other day! Two of the worst are Babestation and Babecast, programs that again encourage people to text or phone in (at extortionate rates of course) to interract with 4-5 scantily clad women (shown in split screen mode at the top) who get progressively closer to performing soft-core porn as the night goes on. This actually does nothing at all for me (it's too comical to be erotic), although I have once or twice come back drunk from the pub and found myself strangely hypnotised watching the messages along the bottom. Perhaps I shouldn't have admitted that?
The reason for the post was that I have found the perfect program for the person too lazy to even channel hop! Its Flipside TV on 217 (for those that are interested) and consists of four very minor showbiz people who sit and channel surf for you. It's genius and is often quite amusing to watch (depending on who's on)! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:34 AM
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
The latest threat to users with bluetooth mobile phones - 'bluesnarfing'. Spot the Thundercats fan.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:32 PM
How stupid do they think people are in that they will be talked into pulling a sicky by a website! I mean these are supposed to be responsible adults! If a simple webpage can make them not want to go to work what else would convince them? "My cat looked a bit sad when I went to leave for work so I thought I'd stay home!".
Now the really stupid thing - and pretty funny I think - is that the site has not even been indexed by any of the major search engines yet so unless someone typed in the address (why would they), they would never find it. Well, that was before the Federation of Small Businesses complained and news stories like this gave the site an incredible amount of publicity. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:42 AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
A slightly unfortunate choice of headline.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:45 PM
Hopefully I wont get addicted to playing like last time but it might offer a diversion from work tedium now and again...? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:18 AM
If you are going to have a face lift then you may as well have a voice lift and sound younger too! Over two thirds of people would reveal their computer password for a bar of chocolate. Well it is tempting. Finally the adventures of what looks like a large ball of wool called Shrek. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:06 AM
Monday, April 19, 2004
One of the downsides of both my housemates being away and having the place to myself is that I am being very messy. Don't get me wrong, the place is very clean at the moment, I'm just feeling too lazy to put things away after I've finished using them and hence there is 'stuff' lying around all over the place. Last night I paid the price.
I'd been shopping earlier in the day and come back with a rucksack full of goodies which was promptly dumped on the kitchen floor. I didn't see the need to unpack the whole bag but various items were deposited on the worksurface, floor and cooker whilst I tried to liberate some apple juice from the bottom for the bag. "There is no one else around" I thought - "I'll put those things away later".
Later comes around and I've still not moved anything. I have however decided I'm hungry and would like some cheese on toast! I put a couple of slices of bread under the grill, cover liberally with cheese, turn on the cooker and wander off to watch telly whilst my little cheesy snack is cooking. A few minutes later I go back to see how its all going and notice a funny smell in the air. It seems that not only had I turned the grill on but that one of the hotplates must have been left on from last time I used it - the hotplate that I happened to put a large plastic tub of mushrooms on earlier.
It took me twenty minutes of scraping and scrubbing to get the melted plastic off the cooker. I'm not sure how I get it off the mushrooms yet.....? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:29 PM
(link via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:37 AM
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Straight in at number 1 for a Google search for BlogMonkey. Oh yes. Not that I really expected much else to be honest as there wasn't much competition...
Don't do so well on Yahoo however. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:45 PM
Saturday, April 17, 2004
I mentioned a few weeks back that the official Blogathon for this year had been called off and as a result I was planning on having my own unofficial one. It's still a few months away yet (probably June or July) but with the new website now up and running I can put a little more thought into my plans.
Near the top of my 'to do' list was deciding on a suitable charity to support and as I said earlier this week I think I might have found one. The destruction of the environment is one thing that has always bothered me quite a bit and I felt like doing something that would have a lasting effect. So, saving the rainforests seemed like the way to go.
The first charity I spotted on a billboard whilst wandering around the aquarium last Monday was Rainforest Concern. I did a little more looking tho and think maybe the one that has my attention at the moment is the World Land Trust simply because they have been around longer and seem to be a bigger charity. Both do pretty much the same thing tho - a donation of £25 will purchase one square acre of rainforest or other endangered habitat.
So thats my plan. What would be nice is to set a target and see if I could reach it - getting enough sponsors to buy 10 acres or something like that. Its only the first stages of an idea currently and nearer the time (maybe a month or so before) I will probably set up a whole seperate page here for it where I can give details about which project I'd like to support and keep track of anyone willing to sponsor me. That would be important as I'd obviously not be asking anyone to send me money directly but donate on the charity website.
It's the begginings of an idea anyway..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:25 AM
Friday, April 16, 2004
Seems one possible solution to the issue of global warming caused by the huge amounts of CO2 that we are pumping into the atmosphere is the creation of 'Wind Scrubbers'. These machines collect the carbon dioxide from the air and store it for use in other industries. More information from one of the companies involved in the prototype is here.
Even if they do make them economically feasible I can't see many countries building them on the sort of scale needed to make much of an impact on global emissions (that wasn't mentioned in the report). Well, not until its too late, the world is 10 degrees hotter and they don't have a choice anymore that is. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:59 PM
On a similar theme, this news story. I'll say it again - thats gotta sting a bit..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:46 PM
Anyway try and ignore the mess, I'm still tidying up. Expect a few cosmetic changes over the next few days as I try and get everything just how I want it. I suppose I should have waited until I was ready before making the site live but where's the fun in that!? Besides I'm paying for the webspace - I may as well use it!
Now if only the Helpdesk phone would stop ringing so I could get on with things. Whats the matter with these people - don't they know its a Friday afternoon and they shouldn't be doing any work!! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:23 PM
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Now how did I miss a news story about live sperm racing?
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:18 PM
Take today for example - what should have been a simple file restore from backups. Someone 'accidentally' managed to select multiple folders in one of their directories, press the Delete button and then confirm that yes they did indeed want to delete the selected items - oh no wait, seems they still wanted those....
So I ask them to email the location and names of the files and I'll restore them. Simple right! Oooooh no. They email the location of a folder containing about 1200 files and folders and somehow expect me to know what's missing from it. Like I'm bored enough to compare what was there yesterday to what's there now. Almost that bored but not quite. So I ask again for confirmation of what they want. Back comes a cryptic message about "... the file ends in 'other' and its everything beyond that."
"Beyond that" - what the hell does that mean? After much ranting and banging of head against the table, out goes another confused reply from me - resisting the urge to end it with "Should you continue to make no sense and talk bollocks in your next emails I will proceed no further and ignore you to the best of my ability".
Finally an email that makes sense explaining how it's all the folders (although he keeps insisting on calling them files in a last vain attempt to try and drive me mad) listed alphabetically after 'Other' that he deleted. He even named all of them now!
Sometimes I'd love to make everyone using the computers attach electrodes to their nipples when logged in and be able to deliver small(ish) shocks from a little button located on my desk... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:17 PM
I think someone is telling fibs..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:00 AM
(link via Brucey) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:49 AM
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
After having gone on about it for about two and a half months now I have finally finished the new website! Almost. Sort of. The real test after working on it all yesterday was to look upon it with fresh (although slightly sleepy) eyes this morning - and lo I looked and it was good.
The turning point came on Sunday. Using my long dormant and highly questionable art talents I spent the day creating a logo worthy of my site. I use 'create' in the loosest sense as its actually a combination of three images stolen from various sources on the interweb and combined frankenstein like into one image. This was then hand sketched onto paper - scanned onto the computer and then traced over in Flash (adding a few little touches here and there of my own) to create the final picture!
Once that was done the rest of the layout fell into place fairly easily with just the creation of a few more graphics needed. Now all thats left is to add the Blogger tags, tidy up a few loose ends and try to get the place looking ok in Firefox. In its defence it did show up some small mistakes I'd made with the code when I tried it this morning. On the other hand I still can't get it to show an image as the page background and I have no idea why!
Anyway, soon, soon....... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:28 PM
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 11:26 AM
Even though I've said that often enough in the past I never really thought that there might actually be bed bugs. Then again I guess I never really gave it much thought at all..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:52 AM
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Last year my housemate and I decided to have a big party and make it a little different. We hired a bouncy castle (try not to land on your head when using one - trust me) and also had a spitroast (ye gods I hate to think what search traffic that phrase will attract). A lamb spitroast I should say - I'm not making this any better am I?! Anyway, there has already been a little talk of something similar this year but although the whole lamb and gas spitroast was good, it was also a little on the expensive side. Yesterday my brother gave me an idea for something that we could try this year. Who wouldn't be tempted to come to a party where they were serving zebra steaks or kangaroo sausages?
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 10:07 AM
Best bit was the touch pool where you got to stroke the fish - at least in theory anyway. Fighting your way past the children to poolside was a task in itself and then there was the matter of enticing a fish to actually come over to you. They knew, I swear the little buggers did. The way they would swim towards you and then dive or turn away at the last minute with that look of "gotcha" on their face! I should have tried the tactics of one bloke that used his baby as bait - dangling it head first over the water to draw them in.....
It was something different I guess and nice to see my brother and his wife as well. One of the conservation adverts on the aquarium wall may have given me an idea for the charity I want to use when I do my blogathon. Little research needed first. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:39 AM
Monday, April 12, 2004
I hate it when I wake up long before I actually need to get up! My sleep was interrupted today by an annoying, nagging feeling in my subconcious that kept insisting that I'd forgotten to do something important. After having gone to all the bother of waking me, my subconcious didn't bother to tell me what this 'important thing' actually was of course! I tried clearing my head of all thoughts (not too hard a task in my case) and burying myself deeper under the warm embrace of my duvet in the hope that I'd slip back to sleep but it was not to be. Everytime my eyes sprang open and I looked at my clock, another 5 minutes had passed and I was still no closer to returning to my dreams.
Its funny how time seems to go so slowly and yet passes so fast when you are in that state of insomnia. The minutes drag as you desperately lie there trying to fall asleep but before you know it you've been awake for half the night
I eventually got up as I was due an early start anyway - I'm travelling to London a bit later to see my little brother and his wife who are also visiting. Its a good halfway point for the both of us. That does mean no updates today unfortunately. Tomorrow I shall no doubt wow you with tales of my visit to the London Aquarium however - try and contain your excitement..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:06 AM
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Girl of 9 arrested for stealing a rabbit.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 12:04 PM
So what was I doing icing a (quite tasty chocolate and almond) cake in the first place you might be wondering. Well being a little bored on Thursday afternoon I emailed a friend who was unlucky enough to be at work, with a list of things to do over the long weekend. She in return gave me 10 tasks of my own to fulfill.
Its actually quite a good game to play with someone if anyone is interested in trying it. The combination of someone else' imagination in picking the tasks and the prospect of a prize for completing them all can lead to you trying things you'd not normally do. In my case I've already had to bake a cake and phone a friend I'd not spoken to in over 7 months. I'm still trying to work on having a conversation with someone I don't know. Other tasks are not so much of a chore - I mean how much motivation do I need to eat an entire tub of Ben and Jerrys?! Although with all the cake I now have to eat as well it might be a little harder. Anyone like a slice? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:56 AM
Thursday, April 08, 2004
So what do you get when you cross trampolining and basketball? Slamball of course! Its actually quite interesting to watch.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 8:00 PM
"Oh, you touch my traa la la. Ooooh, my ding ding dong"
sung by the moustached pimp-like Gunter whilst the Sunshine Girls wiggle around in hotpants! And the champagne bottle scene at the end...... Worst of all it's relatively catchy! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:00 AM
Okay, dishes first. Then I'll maybe 'try' and get some work done on the new website (I was hoping for a little help from an arty friend but that fell through) then clean the bathroom. After that maybe a trip to the shops for some more wine and a big bar of chocolate. Not that I want any chocolate of course, but I'm under strict orders from a friend that as its Easter I must eat chocolate and I always do what I'm told.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:41 AM
The only good news I can see today, Intel is becoming greener. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:38 AM
I'll update here after I've had a long soak in the bath and some breakfast - or maybe breaskfast and then a bath? Breakfast in the bath? Decisions, decisions...... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:10 AM
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Is this real? An American reality TV/gameshow where they get to pick a presidential candidate. I guess the person can't be any worse than the current moron that has the job.....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 12:41 PM
These last few hours are going to drag - I can feel it. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:48 AM
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 10:44 AM
(link via Paul) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:37 AM
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
This game may amuse for a minute or two. Wouldn't you know it, I'd clicked on the (innocent) looking link and the page opened up to show arses just as someone came to talk about work to me...
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 11:17 AM
The rest of the site is interesting if you are looking for some unique furniture and the like. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:01 AM
I paused for a moment to recall the events from just a short while before that had led up to this. As plans go it had been a fairly simple one - feigning friendship to gain her trust before launching the four against one ambush. She was not so easily caught off guard however and the job was not proving as simple as they had hoped!
Switching my focus back to the ring I watched as Nichola delivered a clubbing clothesline to one of the three remaining women, knocking her off her feet. Before the body even hit the floor Nick was in motion again, both feet connecting firmly with the chest of another attacker.
I had to admit I was impressed! I'd known Nick for some time as the quiet young woman that worked upstairs as part of the Learning Technology group, designing university webpages and dealing with all things internet related. The twinkle I'd sometimes seen in her eyes had hinted at a darker, more wicked side but I never suspected such wrestling talent! Even so the odds were against her and it seemed to be only a matter of time before she would be overwhelmed.
Obviously I was not the only one to think so for at that moment a new figure came running towards the ring. Sliding under the ropes and leaping over one of the prone women, David - one of the helpdesk technicians - skipped over to stand next to Nick.
"I thought you might need a little help?" he offered as he flashed her a smile and adjusted the bum belt hanging from his waist.
"Thanks" she coolly replied "I could do with you phoning in to vote for next weeks record of the week. The number to ca...."
The sultry voice of the attractive Nemone and her early morning show emanating from my alarm clock dragged me dizzily back into the real world. I hate being rudely awoken for early shift..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:41 AM
Monday, April 05, 2004
I'm still liking this song a lot.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:10 PM
(last few links via The G-Spot) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:43 PM
Dont worry ladies, you've not been forgotten..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:41 PM
I skipped out of work early on Friday (using some of the time I was owed from having to drag myself in here over Christmas) and caught the train up north with Ian. One big platefull of chips, beans and chicken (supplied by Ians mum) later and it was off to sample the delights of one of the local pubs. Having been sold for many months to me as 'Sunny Sunderland' it of course decided to hammer down with rain, thunder and lightning within moments of us stepping outside. Suffice to say I spent the rest of the evening feeling a little damp and walking with a limp - the result of running a little too enthusiastically to reach the pub.....
Saturday was spent looking around the city centre before heading off to the seaside. Then it was off to Newcastle where the first order of business was to find a pub so that we could watch the Grand National. Now I have to admit to having never been remotely interested in horse racing - always seems a little cruel to me to be honest - but I'd never actually placed a bet on anything in my life so when it was suggested I decided that I should at least give it a go once. Having absolutely no idea what I was doing I called upon the time I'd spent watching telly that morning and recalled the words of one of the BBC news team "Each way bet on Gunner Welburn worth going for....". Well, that was good enough for me so on went £5 at 18/1. As the day progressed I started getting a bit more excited at the prospect of all the money I was about to win (the man on the telly said it was a good bet - how could I not win?) and gambling fever gripped me. "Maybe just one more little bet" I thought....
So off to Ladbrokes once again and after studying th