Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Can anyone tell me what this blog is all about?? They have linked to me - for which I am very grateful - but I'm just curious. My first Polish link tho.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 9:08 PM
A while ago - I forget exactly when - I was walking home from town. I saw a car park at the side of the road, the driver get out, cross the road and get let into a house. As I carried on walking I notice movement out of the corner of my eye as a car pulled slowly alongside me. I thought someone was just pulling into park but after a second realised that it was the same car. Another second or three passed before I twigged that the driver had left the handbrake off and being at the top of a hill, the car was starting its own little journey.
It wasn't something I expected and I hesitated. I carried on walking, trying for that "I haven't seen it - it's nothing to do with me" attitude. I watched as the car picked up speed and moved past me - heading down the hill before mounting the pavement, running over a dustbin and hitting a lampost where it came to rest.
Suddenly it occurred to me that the car could have hit someone! I'd not even thought of that and I felt really bad - someone easily could have been injured cos of my hesitation, innaction and desire 'not to get involved'. When I retold the story to people I always made out that I'd not realised that no one was in the car and I could not have done anything by the time I did. I'm still not sure if I could have done anything but my confession now is that I never even tried.
I promised myself then that I'd never sit by again. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:16 PM
I was shown what the job involved and it was simple. Make a phonecall, turn a key, jam a bit of plastic in a hole and press three buttons. Pah, could do it with my eyes closed (not that I was going to try).
First week I forgot entirely! Second week I was trying to prove I could do it and make up for the week before and it all went off smoothly. This week I managed to cause the entire Biocentre to evacuate as they thought it was a real fire.
One out of three success rate - not bad going so far eh?! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:43 PM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
But I like big bars of chocolate dammit!!!
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 9:25 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
Everywhere I look, there they are. The place is crawling with them! No, I'm not going mad (much), it's just Freshers Week again. The time of year where I feel very old.
So once again I get to watch as they buy hundreds of posters which I know will cost about a quarter of the price a few weeks from now. See them mill about in large groups trying to figure out which building they need to go to register in. And once again I start to wonder if I looked that young when I started here 11 years ago.....
As a result bloggage may be light this week whilst I spend my time answering important academic related computer questions like
"How do I use email"
"Can I surf the internet from Halls of Residence" and
"Can I install MSN Messenger? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:40 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2004
I like doing things for charity so I feel it's my duty to help spread the word about this years Boobie-Thon. Nothing to do with all the pictures of womens breasts. Nope. Nothing at all. Thought barely even crossed my mind. Well maybe just a little tit... I mean bit.
Anyway, its for a good cause so take a look. Thanks to Wiggle Bottoms for the reminder.
If you feel you need a little 'boost' before the event, then maybe this is what you need. Its a ringtone for your phone that makes your boobs grow (apparently). # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:44 PM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
The challenge has been issued and accepted. In the blue corner - all lean green muscle and sporting a fine tash and a spiffing hat - Marco Frogmeister!!
6th in the recent Muddy Bank race and current world rank of 21227.
In the red corner, the warty wonder trained by Mr Poons - Dave! Current statistics unknown.
Bring it on!!
# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:51 PM
"Will you give my teddy bear friend a hug?" says quite fit girl No.1.
I start searching for a witty line to come back to her with but as usual in these situations my brain shuts up shop and the best I can manage is "Ummmm..."
"Don't worry, she's female." Coaxes quite fit girl...
Before I quite know what I'm doing I've thrown my arms around Miss Bear and I'm actually quite enjoying it (could be the start of a whole new kinky fetish for me?). I'm thanked, given handfulls of sweets and a free keyring by quite fit girls No.2, 3 and 4 and carry on my way.
It's probably the only hug I'm going to get this week (month) so take it where you can find it is what I say! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:36 PM
Friday, September 24, 2004
Everyone in my section at work has signed up to train a racing frog - thought it would be good for team building (plus we are all pretty bored). No doubt it will probably turn out to be really pants but what the hell! I've already cheated and made loads of money by sending invites out to loads of imaginary people - the benefits of owning your own domain name! I'm the boss, my frog should be the best!
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 6:12 PM
Now days of course the technology is available for almost anyone to have a go. I have great respect for anyone that puts the time and effort into a project like this and some of the results look almost as good as the films they try to emulate. Others, well......
On the topic of arty films and stuff, I'll be waiting with barely contained excitement for the release of Combover: The Movie. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:30 AM
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I really quite like the look of this little animation - all dark and weird (yet cute at the same time). I'd be tempted to buy the DVD if it wasn't £15 for a 12 minute film - a little steep I thought? Or is that just me. JoJo in the stars.
(link via Scattershot) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:38 PM
The obvious choice was a TJ's special. The problem was about a year ago I had one and felt very dodgy the next day or so. From that point on a never fancied one again - TJ's burger was always associated with feeling ill in my head (even long after I could remember how ill I'd actually felt). But now I wanted one again!
And you know what, I found that after all that time without one, they really weren't as good as I remember....... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:08 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
When my mum asks for my christmas list this year, a Pimp watch will be right there at the top. Just so I can confuse the hell out of anyone else that tries to tell time with it. And to look like I belong on Blakes 7.
A phone that detects when you have bad breath. Another handy use of technology there then...... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:33 PM
(If you have no idea what I'm talking about - read this) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:56 PM
Bjoern has moved servers and changed website name. Go visit him over at FeldFunker. Might want to check out some of his tunes too.
Bunni has kindly added me to her blogroll recently too. She's having fun in Paris at the moment. Go follow her exploits. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:42 PM
Personally I don't think the turbines spoil the landscape and although I know it's hard to decide if they are economically feasible or environmentally friendly with all the facts that both side throw about, I do think they are needed. We need to change our attitudes in this 'throw away' society that we live in and moving towards renewable energy sources - economically practical or not - is a step in the right direction.
If you want to show your support for wind power, you can here.
On another note, for those of us that recycle, you might be surprised to learn where all that plastic, paper and glass is going.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:14 AM
As I said tho it does seem that I am very bad at staff training. It's all those little things that you take for granted and never even think to pass on (or have thought about at all). She asked me yesterday where all the fire exits were in the building - like I've ever paid enough attention to know that!? Probably didn't give her the most confidence as I walked her around the building going "Ooooh, I never knew they had a fire exit there - wonder where that goes?".
Can only get better - right? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:03 AM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I figured out the answer to yesterdays question. Stupidity all the way....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 7:11 AM
Monday, September 20, 2004
Do you ever have that feeling where you know you are doing something really stupid. You can see where things are leading from such a long way off but don't seem able to stop. Like a moth to a flame you carry on regardless - ignoring the little voice inside, convinced it'll all work out. Then one day you reach the flame and as the temperature starts to rise you know that you only have yourself to blame.
Fate or stupidity? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:55 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Glad to see that some people do get what they deserve in court. This US judge sentenced this bloke to various humiliating punishments amongst others things for his part in a car race that resulted in the death of a young girl.
For something along happier lines - pub landlord saves kitten with kiss of life after accidentally putting it in the washing machine. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:58 PM
So if anyone reading has just started playing - or been playing for a while and not got anywhere - and would like a little cash 'boost' then let me know. I'm sure I could spare the odd billion or two.
If only making money were this easy in real life...... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:43 PM
Of course someone else starting a new job makes me think about my own career ambtions - or lack of to be more accurate. If you'd told me when I started that I'd still be in this job seven years later, I wouldn't have believed you. I was convinced I'd be moving on after two. Like I've said before tho, I have no idea what I want to do. There are a lot of things I could do but I'm not sure I'd be good at any of them? Good at most things, really good at nothing - that kinda sums me up.
I have technical know how and could aspire to work my way up to a highly technical job but the real computer geek stuff holds no interest to me. I could use my creative talents to enter a different field - like web designer. What talent I have is sporadic at best tho - occasionally exploding in spectacular bursts like the fireworks you see at professional displays but most of the time more closely resembling the cheap bangers you buy in corner shops that spring up around November 5th.
Does it matter tho? Although my job is not that fulfilling, sometimes I wonder if the only thing that drives me to look for a new job is the feeling that I should be trying to better myself? I have enough money, no stress and a job that I don't dread going to when I wake up in the morning. So whilst a little more money and some more interesting things to do during the day would be nice, would it really make me happier?
I don't think so because at the end of the day a good career is not what I'm really looking for in life anyway..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:54 PM
Friday, September 17, 2004
In need of a new pillow? I'd suggest this Godfather horse head pillow. Guaranteed to get the next young lady you bring home in the mood....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:49 PM
I'm off to find me some burried treasure - arrrrrrr! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:25 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
If you have an old milking stool that you feel needs to be made more interesting, maybe these examples will give you some ideas. I like the Playstation stool.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:51 PM
"He would start by doing all that meditation stuff." says Miss H - swinging her arms around, making 'swooshing' noises and breathing deeply in and out. "You know, Feng Shui."
"I think you mean tai chi" says Mr J. "Rearranging the chairs in the room probably wouldn't have helped him......". # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:25 AM
PM says we should act now to avert climate change. Of course 'now' means at some undefined point in the future - most likely after the elections. See I thought the government was supposed to do what needed to be done, but they seem to spend all their time trying not to annoy anyone just so they can get re-elected. But whats the point of getting back in if you achieve nothing when you are there?
Rapid urbanisation is set to become "one of the biggest challenges facing humanity in the 21st Century". Seems we get a new big challenge every week...
Charity hopes to plant a tree for every under 16 year old in the UK. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:55 AM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I've been very bad at posting recently. I know it. Been covering up slightly by continuing to post links to various interwebnet weirdness but posts about me have been lacking a little. I guess it's cos I've been - well I was going to say unmotivated but I think distracted is a better description.
It's not just blogging, most aspects of my life have been affected. Had trouble throwing myself (figuratively and not literally) into anything. I've definitely been a more 'stay at home with a glass of wine and going to bed early cos I'm not sure what to do with myself' bloke recently.
I think I'm getting more focused again tho. Would you believe having more to do at work is actually helping!? Never thought I'd say that. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:59 PM
(link via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:50 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
Sometimes you have to wonder if parents aquire the ability to tell you things you really don't want to hear when they first have kids, or if it's a skill they work on and perfect over years of parenthood? For instance tonight....
My mum always phones me for a chat every week at the same time (6:30 pm exactly in case you are wondering). She'll tell me about what she's been up to. She'll tell me about the weather, the various illnesses people have or how some person I don't remember from 15 years ago died last Wednesday at the age of 52. This week tho she proceeds to tell me about the smear test someone in my family had! And then about various other peoples smear test recently.
I mean really, I'm a man of the world and I'm not embarrassed to to talk about such stuff but do I really want to talk about it to my mother?!? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:55 PM
Welcome to the Woooooorld of tomorrow. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:50 PM
Transvestite elephant polo - now how could you not click on that link? (btw, it's not transvestite elephants) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:53 PM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
I didn't forget. I was actually waiting to try and collect the sponsorship money in from various people and as I never got them to sign anything as such it didn't really seem right to press them for the money. So it's taken a little while and some people still technically owe me (tho I also aquired a couple more sponsors in the meantime) but last week I donated the money that people had given me. The proof (and not just something I whipped up with PhotoShop) is below. Also bear in mind that some people donated directly themselves....
# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:18 PM
Friday, September 10, 2004
So it came to the time yesterday evening where I had to figure out what the hell I was going to cook for myself. I'd put it off for a couple of hours, keeping the hunger at bay with wine and JD but I knew that sooner or later I would have to eat or fall over. So I delved into the cupboards and as usual found little in the way of ingredients. I decided on one of those 'throw it all in a pot, add some herbs and leave it to simmer' meals that sometimes work and othertimes don't. In went the mushrooms and onions, garlic, can of tomatoes, some celery that had seen better days and some chicken. It still needed something tho and usually that something is a large helping of red wine. Damn, no wine.
Heading to the little area of the kitchen that is the domain of my various bottles of spirit (the remanants of various past parties) I set about trying to find something suitable to add. The JD was out, too good to waste on food. Vodka was too flavourless. I don't really like gin or rum. Baileys seemed a little creamy. That purple stuff from Venice that smells of cough medicine didn't really appeal. And then I saw it, the drink of old ladies - sherry.
I bought the bottle a long time ago - it was cheap and I needed it for some cocktail or other I was planning. It had barely been touched. So into the pot went a quite generous helping and you know what, the end producted tasted pretty good. I should cook whilst drunk more often. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:45 PM
NSFW # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:25 PM
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
After the recent events in Russia I realised that I didn't know all that much about the situation in Chechnya and I thought maybe that I should. This article in the Gaurdian gives an idea of the number of people killed or displaced by the conflict, including 35,000 children!
For some more detailed background information on how the conflict started and how it continues today, this page is pretty good.
UPDATE: I found this online petition a little while ago but can't really see what purpose it is trying to support? More interesting are the links from that page. One is calling for the Russian Government to be held responsible for the bungled rescue attempt during the last hostage situation in a theatre in Russia.
" Terrorism cannot be justified. Neither can be the actions of the government that values lives of its own citizens no more than lives of the very terrorists it is trying to defeat."
The other is a link to a charity appeal for the children of Beslan which you might want to donate to. As good a cause as that is I do sometimes wonder at the morality of it all? This appeal will receive a lot of support because it is major news at the moment and it will help hundreds of children emotionally scared by the events in Beslan. But what about the tens of thousands of children in Chechnya that have seen similar things - seen friends and family die - for the last 8 years or more? Do they get much support? The same goes for people effected by the horrible events in Sudan and Darfur. I'm not saying its wrong to help the Beslan children but I think it is wrong that so much focus is being put on them by the worlds media whilst others elsewhere are forgotten... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:40 PM
A top scientist wants to build a DNA repository on the moon. But surely thats not safe - what if the aliens get hold of it!?
US deathtoll in Iraq reaches 1000. Nuff said. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:26 PM
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
How to totally screw up a hostage rescue.
1) Have badly trained military.
2) Let everyone and their gran arrive with guns.
3) Don't ask for help. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:29 PM
How many pairs of pants do you own? And thats all three grades of pants together Poons. I have 9. Gives me a weeks worth and then a couple for 'emergencies'. Should always be prepared, or so my mum said..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:17 PM
I'm so easily pleased. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:59 PM
Monday, September 06, 2004
Sometimes I'm quite surprised at the things that spread around the internet. For instance, is a picture of a couple of dogs going at it in the back garden really that exciting? Does genuine amateur canine love really interest or amuse that much? A lot of people seem to think so.
Maybe I'm just losing my sense of humour in my old age? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:53 PM
(link via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:50 PM
(link via Michelle) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:42 PM
I of course in no way agree with his actions. Twelve wives - thats just downright greedy! As for abducting young women, has he never heard of the subtle techniques involving flowers, wine and a romantic dinner?
I've been trying to get them to buy us a bed for those quiet times at work and now maybe they will listen.
Hurrah for Bunsen and Beaker - top TV boffins! Now if only the Swedish chef can beat Jamie Oliver..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:57 PM
Sunday, September 05, 2004
A question for a Monday morning (I know I posted this on Sunday evening but no one ever looks over the weekend anyway). Do you have a special pair of pants - and I'm talking underwear for the Americans reading - that you save for those special occasions? Going out on Friday night pants, the ones you wear for that big date, your favouritest pair etc? Mine would be a pair of plain black cotton boxers which I put on for best.
Just wondering.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:36 PM
Friday, September 03, 2004
Spare a thought for the children. How can Russia keep handling these situations so badly?
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 6:29 PM
"Lucky I gots this so I can gives it a good bonkin'...."
Now listening to (and watching the great video for) Armand Van Helden - Hear My Name. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:46 AM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
For some reason I've lost my appetite the last few days. Not sure why - could be the snuffly cold I have I suppose. The cold that woke me up with a coughing fit at midnight last night after I'd only been asleep an hour.
Still I can't complain, not after seeing whats been going on with others around me recently. Watching two people that have been friends for years take a week to destroy the friendship to the point where I don't think it can ever be repaired - and I'm still not sure of the cause. Watching a friend wait for news of a loved one while I'm powerless to help.
Now listening to Eric Prydz - Call on Me. Good song (great video too boys). # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:00 PM
Who needs real friends when you can have a comforting machine to help you through those bad times. I'd feel so much better for having the video of someone I don't know telling me "..not to worry, it'll be fine". # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:44 AM
What better way to train the younger generation into believing that mobile phones are the most essential item in the entire universe than by getting your little'un a MyMo. Sure they are handy but should you really ever be in the postion that if your 4 year old daughters pedal car breaks down a couple of streets away, it's okay cos she can call you? I think not. You can also use the MyMo to track their location. Why not just implant your kids with locator chips - oh wait, it won't be long.
I think this sink would help motivate me to do more washing up. Relaxing too. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:03 AM
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
I didn't realise that the UK is one of the few European countries which still has a growing population or that it is so overcrowded. The sooner I win the lottery and can purchase my own island in the South Pacific the better I think...
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 11:57 AM
Has anyone else ever gone off something like that? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:53 AM
