So another Bagle variant is doing the rounds. What I want to know is how people are STILL falling for this after so many viruses have gone before it?

I was never great at chatting women up. I've improved over the years but I'm still a long way off being any good at it. It's always the 'talking to them' bit that proves to be my stumbling block. When I'm having imaginary conversations with attractive young Swedish milkmaids in my head, the witty comments and insightfull observations just pour from me like rain on a really rainy day. In real life however the story is much different and I struggle to get more than a few words out. The addition of alcohol helps, but what pours forth then is usually neither witty or insightfull.

As bad as I am, I discovered something yesterday that makes it even harder - having your mum stood behind you when you are trying to flirt!

Next time I go to flirt with Milly - the attractive barmaid with the lovely smile that just makes me want to smile right back - it shall be without my mum in tow. And I might shave too...

Zoo manager gets sack after selling monkeys. My favourite quote from the story.

"Stephen Riley, 48, barricaded himself in his flat with a wallaby and turtles after he was dismissed from Tropiquaria in Somerset in January."

Finally I might be rewarded for watching TV.

Wow - a year and a half blogging and finally something I said (or more exactly linked too) has generated some discussion on another site. I feel so proud......

.... and yet - maybe because of the warlike nature of monkeys - I feel the need to defend myself. Would fling a little fecal matter too but I'm quite tired and not sure I can be bothered. Plus I actually quite like Libbo - the picture he did of me is pretty nifty!

Anyways, truth of the matter is (and long time readers will know this) I actually have absolutely no interest in politics whatsoever - in this country or any other! I dislike pretty much all politicians (except maybe this bloke) due to the fact that none of them ever seem capable of giving a straight answer. Well that's one reason anyway.

I wasn't against the war in Iraq - tho I think it was handled badly. I don't have an irrational hatred of Bush - tho I do think he comes a little lower on the IQ scale than some people.

In conclusion your honour, Blogmonkey can not be guilty of the crime for which he is accused as he is simply too lazy and disinterested. His only crime - linking to something he found amusing at the time (oh, and nicking that tin of tuna one time from ASDA....).

I rest my case.

Now remember folks, be carefull what you post!!

On an entirely unrelated topic, have I mentioned how much I love my job recently?

Bloggage the next few days might be light due to the annual visit of my oldest brother and mum. Has it really been a year since the last one... *mutter* ... seem like a couple of months... *mumble* .... where to take them this time... *ponder* ....

Anyway, might post in the mornings when I get up. Evenings are out whilst I 'entertain'.

Currently listening to Oxygen (featuring Andrea Britton): Am I On Your Mind

I did see this on Shiny Shiny the other day but promtly forgot all about it until I saw an advert on telly last night. Not that I ever fall for advertising normally.... *ahem*

Anyway, it's a free pedometer (or walk-o-meter as Walkers like to call them) from Walkers crisps. Quite why I want to see how many steps I take in a day I don't know, but it's free so I'm having one! The website is currently under a very heavy load (more poor suckers tempted by the power of TV advertising) but I've found that clicking and closing the link about 20 times in a row will eventually get you in. If the same thing happens whilst you are entering your details, don't forget to use the backspace key to go back to the previous screen (wash, rinse and repeat as many times as needed).

Did I mention they were free?!

Short on time for posting today but this conversation between George Dubya and God should help to amuse in the meantime.
(link via Poons)

And how about a little appropriate music whilst you read that - a song called Killers Rejoice by FeldFunker (featuring vocals by George). He only finished it on Saturday too....

So with a little bit of cajoling, Russia (hopefully) saves the Kyoto protocol. Not that it achieves much anyway - especially with American government still opting for the short sighted view - but it's a start.

Some good news tho, London may have found its man to help make it a greener city. I mean making the entire city centre of Woking self sufficient in terms of energy is pretty impressive in my book.

Looking for a gift for the lady in your life this Christmas? What about this pen? Isn't it just a posh Squiggle Wiggle pen tho? Anyway, why bother being subtle - just go down to Boots for your vibratory needs....

Another great Christmas gift - play pong with your mind with the appropriately named Mindball table.

And what man wouldn't want a motorbike powered by chainsaws?

The good old Beeb. A little slow sometimes but they get there in the end. When I posted about this a while ago I didn't actually realise that Michelle was behind it. That lady certainly knows how to get in the news! Go visit her website by the way, it's still as funny (if not more so) than ever.

Pamela Anderson ask the Queen to get rid of bearskin hats. A whole 200 people signed the petition - well that's bound to sway her isn't it....

Amazing new material discovered. Pave way for faster computers. Yadda yadda ya... I want my voice activated computer that talks back to me like in Star Trek NOW dammit!

Typical. I have a lazy day (well, I was kinda working actually) when I don't post and I get loads of new visitors. They're all going to think I'm a slacker now. Well I am a slacker but I usually do a good job of hiding that fact!

In a veritable cornucopia of primate related blogness, I had visits from two - yes two - monkey bloggers yesterday. Apparently I'm Lagmonkeys evil twin and he's keeping an eye on me. I don't remember doing anything that evil recently - apart from that plan to invade Clacton-on-Sea but that hardly counts. Still, I shall be on my best behaviour over the coming days.

I also had a visit from Scott over at Baboon Palace who left a comment about my recent email from Alexa. Seems he also had an email from her and thinks she might have a bit of a thing for monkeys? In fact, I notice that Lagmonkey has a link to 'A New York Escorts Confessions' in his blogroll so maybe it's true. Hmmm.....

Anyway, as I said the other day, my blogroll is in need of some upkeep so it's out with some of my old regular reads who seem to have gone on permanant hiatus and it's in with the monkeys! Welcome lads.

Reason number 3 why the power of teleportation would be great. When you go for a drink after work and it's raining, you don't get cold and wet on the way home!

Weebl has been at it again with this annoying tune (link via The Presurfer. And here's an annoying tune he did with an annoying animation. But I do like chocolate tho.....

Oooh, futuristic pants. I can't wait to get a pair (I seem to be talking about underwear a lot this week).

Beer drinking robots. Now you're talking. Only problem is, it never buys you one back.....

Speaking of robots, they ride camels now too you know.

It's not often I get into work to find an email from a New York escort waiting for me but thats just what happened this morning. My happiness was dulled somewhat when I realised that she'd sent virtually the same email to a lot of other people recently but the content proved that she had actually taken the time to look through my blog so fair play to her. And whatever she is doing is paying off as over 450 links in about two months is pretty good going.

A more cynical person might think that Alexa is trying to emulate the famous and now departed Belle de Jour in an attempt to maybe get a book deal or just be a well known interwebnet celebrity? If you are talented enough to get a book deal out of blogging, then why not? The ever lovely Breakup Babe - although still suffering in love (don't I know how that feels) - is also well on her way to literary success. And whilst not currently getting anywhere, the now demon free Andre has a book plan and quite rightly (I've said it before but in case you missed it, go look at his blog now! Yes, you. It's good stuff. Really. Wha.. I never lie).

So anyway, A New York Escorts Confessions will shortly be added to my blogroll (which is in need of some upkeep) as it too is also a good read (as well as being a little spicy).

So sayeth the BlogMonkey.

(Now listening to Alabama 3: Let the Cage Bird Sing)

Having not got to bed until about 6am, the others were in no hurry to get up so in order not to disturbed them I headed off for a little walk about on my own. Having not looked around it properly I made my way down to the Jewish quarter. I arrived back to find Ian in the shower and Michelle just emerging - all bleary eye (but looking as lovely as ever he hastily adds in order to avoid a beating) - from her bedroom. It's at that point that there is a knock at the door.

I open it to find our mafia guide who tells me that he has other people moving in later and could we be out of the place in 30 mins. 30 minutes!! The words "Oh God" were muttered a few times and then clothes were unceremoniously stuffed into bags. We just finish doing a little washing up and tidying when he arrives back with the next lot who are moving in. We start to feel a little queasy at this point as we wonder if the place was cleaned before we moved in (eeeuuwwww - I'm not thinking about that)?

Our mafia guide generously offers to store our bags in the boot of his car (we are never going to see them again) until he picks us up later to give us a lift to the airport. We accept and head off to find some lunch.

After lunch in the old town square we head over to our rendevouz point to find our mafia guide showing the contents of his boot to some bloke (he's already sold our bags!?). He tells us he can't actually give us a lift as 'something has come up' but a colleague will take us (dear god they are going to strip us naked and dump our bodies in an old quarry).

His colleague arrives - speeding in and stopping about 6 inches from the back of mafia guides car. Once again we start exchanging those nervous glances. We've barely managed to fasten our seatbelts when he roars off down the cobbled streets, pausing just long enough to honk his horn at two young women we pass.

What follows is probably the scariest part of the holiday (even more so than when the dodgy banister almost gave way)! Boy Racer mafia man wont let anything get in his way! We mount the pavement to get round some cars. We almost plow over an old granny crossing the road. On the normal roads we are doing about 50mph and on the slightly larger roads (bearing in mind it's raining too) we are topping 90mph. He doesn't seem to know where the brake is and I have to keep controling the urge to point it out to him for fear of being dumped naked in an old quarry.

Suffice to say we survived the trip and the rest of the journey back was uneventfull. And there ends my trip to Prague. I'm left now with some fond memories (as well as a few scary ones), a shirt with a burn hole in, some new catchphrases (scream if you want to go louder) and two bottles of evil spirit I picked up at the duty free shop - a bottle of Becherovka and some 50% pear brandy. When I've tried them I'll let you know what they are like (after I recover my eyesight).

Just what we need - a hightech shopping trolleys. You can email your shopping list to the trolley before you go shopping. You'll be telling me next that they'll come up with a way for you to do your shopping without even leaving the house. Oh, wait.....

The political bohemian rhapsody. I've not been paying much attention recently but I guess there are a lot of things like this doing the rounds at the moment....?

We may not have decided to go with the idea of a stripper (sorry Angela) but we were not going to let Michelle' birthday go by without a few surprises! After having to virtually sit on an excited Ian for an hour (I thought she deserved at least a little lie in) we proceeded to raid her room and wake her up by presenting her with a swiss roll with candles and a bottle of champagne (which we'd snuck back to the flat after a sneaky shopping trip the day before). Okay it wasn't actually champagne but considering all the labels were in Czech, finding out is was sparkling white wine after all was a bonus. See how happy she was...



Yeah, the cake was positioned there on purpose to hide her blushes. Then it was off for another day of sightseeing mixed in with trying to have a drink every hour to celebrate. We didn't manage every hour but we had a few. The best was the hot spicy wine which made Ian choke and Michelle' tongue go numb (I actually quite liked it).

In the evening we met up with some friends for a meal. When I'm on holiday I usually try to sample strange foods that I've never had before and what could be stranger than rolls of ham filled with horseradish sauce and topped with (wait for it) whipped cream!! It was 'different' but lets just say it wouldnt be top of my list of starters to order next time....

Then it was on to a club for some dancing (which I don't really do). I was a lightweight and bottled it early - having a lovely walk along the river by myself at 2am on the way home. Prague by night is as lovely as it is by day.

I'm shocked (no, really)! I've just heard a song on MTV about oral sex! And apparently this is the clean version of My Neck, My Back by Khia - the dirty version has been around for ages. I'm sure you can find the lyrics to that on your own if you are curious..... oh never mind here they are anyway.

Oooh, I want one of these wearable heads-up displays for when I'm working on the helpdesk. I'll probably only be watching cartoons but I'll look so cool and professional.

We will soon have the ability to control our cars by text message. Bugger shutting the engine down if the car gets stolen - I'll be opening and closing the windows whilst making spooky "whooOOOoooOOOOooo" noises.

Is this the price for a booming economy?

Oh no - killer ladybirds!

Save the world in 3 minutes a day. Okay, so I stole the headline....

With slightly fuzzy heads (and with Ian and I still on our own sides of the bed) we awoke bright and early and ready to start exploring Prague proper after a bit of breakfast (Czech bread does not make good toast I'd like to point out here). I could tell you now about all the sights we saw as we wandered around for the next 5 hours but to be honest Prague is one big sight. Everywhere you look there are statues and buildings with carved facades, fountains and guilded doors, churches with amazingly painted ceilings and stained glass windows. It is indeed a beautiful city.

We did the big sights of course. Charles Bridge, the old town square with it's astronomical clock (it's very pretty but the display when it chimes the hour is really not worth the hype), the museum and of course the castle and royal gardens.

One thing I did grow to love about the city was the roads! There are just so many pedestrian crossings and whilst half of them have traffic lights which drivers (mostly) obey, the rest are much more fun. Cars won't stop if they see you waiting to cross at one of them, they will only stop if someone is actually crossing. So the trick is to just step into the oncoming traffic (a few cheap beers helps with this) having calculated that said oncoming traffic has enough time to stop before hitting you (a few cheap beers doesn't help with this). I became quite an expert. Of course things get a little more complicated on the roads that the trams also run on cos they are a little bigger....

We finished the day with another evening of drinking (with a few friends). The last port of call was our now local bar where we were greeted by the barman who already new our usual order without us having to point stupidly. We stayed until midnight, seeing in Michelle' birthday with a shot of some potent blackcurrant spirit, the name of which I can no longer remember....

After an uneventful flight, Ian, Michelle and myself arrived at Prague airport and proceeded to the baggage collection area, keen to start our holiday proper. Of course my bag took five minutes longer than anyone elses to appear and as I started to worry that I was going to have to wear the same set of clothes for a week (I wasn't sure I'd fit into Michelle' tops) I became convinced that the backpack I'd seen picked up by another man a little earlier was in actual fact mine! I was all set to charge off in search of the 'thief' when my backpack finally made it's leisurely appearance around the carousel.

It was whilst waiting that we realised that none of us had actually done even the smallest amount of preparation for the trip. Not only had we no idea how to say the essential basics - yes, no, hello, thank you, beer etc - but we were not even sure what language was spoken? Undaunted, we went in search of our lift to the appartment.

I suppose the first word that sprang to mind when we met our driver was 'dodgy'. I'm not sure if there is a Czech mafia but if there is he would definitely be a junior member. The whole 20 min car trip was done in silence, punctuated only by our mafia guide blowing his nose (who needs to hold the steering wheel to drive?) and coughing at regular intervals.

The first sight that greets us at the bottom of the stairs is a sign that begins

"Dear Neighbours. There have been several burglaries and a small fire here recently.....".

We start exchanging nervous glances. After loading us into the lift and sending us up to the 6th floor, I decide to lean (tentatively) over the banister to see how far down it is to the bottom of the stairs. The whole banister leans about a foot over the edge with me. We start exchanging more nervous glances as I slowly stop hyperventillating.....

The tour of the apartment is brief and after handing over the rent we are left to explore it properly. One of the most obvious points was the two double beds! I tried my best but Michelle seemed unconvinced that drawing straws or having some sort of rotation scheme set up was the best option and so I accepted the fact that I'd be sharing a bed with another man for the first time... well ever really!? Ian and I start exchanging nervous glances.....

The appartment is full of little quirks - the toilet that won't flush (I'll spare you the trick I learnt to flush it involving the shower) and the alleged sofa bed that just looked like we'd dismantalled the sofa by the time we'd finished - but the best was yet to come. Having looked in most of the nooks and crannies and settled down with a cup of tea to watch a little TV, I noticed a small draw in the coffee table which we'd yet to look in. I opened it to find the following....



Yup, a pair of knickers. I'm not sure you could have wished for a more perfect comic moment. I did however cast a nervous look at the large stain on the sofa behind my head and move to the left a little.....

The rest of the evening went by quickly. We had a little wander around the area to get our bearings (which of course meant we ended up a little lost). We picked up a few (very) cheap beers in a local shop and sampled them whilst watching cheesy euro pop on the telly. Then we headed out again and found a little place to eat (where I ended up setting fire to one of my favourite shirts) before finishing up in a real local bar just around the corner from our appartment. A few glances were cast our way as we perched at the bar but the barman was friendly and who can complain when a couple of rounds of drinks costs about the same as one beer in the UK!

I went to sleep dreaming of cheap beer and trying to remember not to start spooning anyone during the night....

I'm back but it's late and I'm tired. First tales from my trip (with piccies) tomorrow. Now, sleep....

Why is it always the same? I was dead to the world - having vivid dreams filled with telly program storylines and strange events - before I woke up sometime around 3am. I rolled over, found a new comfy position and started to drift off again when one thought just HAD to enter my head. "Oh yeah - I'm going on holiday today!".

And that was it. No more sleep for BlogMonkey. I dozed a bit for a couple of hours but finally decided I may as well get up and start getting ready. Not thats its going to take me two and a half hours to shower, shave and pack the last few bits and peices into my bag!

So yeah, in a couple of hours I'll be off to Prague. It's been strange as I've not really been excited about the trip at all - its just kinda got closer and closer on it own and all of a sudden I'm awake at 5am and getting ready to go. It should be good tho. Could do with a break from work and I have had something else on my mind for the last couple of months which this trip might help put behind me. We'll see.

Now whilst I am awake I may as well use the time to try and find out where I can get a male stripper for my friends 30th on Friday. And she wanted this to be a quiet trip....

See you all on Sunday.

As I'm off to Prague tomorrow (god I best start packing at some point) I went and collected some travel money today. I love countries with large notes. I know it's still only £150 but having 6000 Koruna in my pocket makes me feel so much richer!

Scientists see a sharp rise in CO2 levels in the atmosphere for the second year running. Is this the beginning of a runaway greenhouse effect? Only time will tell (insert dramatic music here).

The FBI has shut down part of an independant media network called Indymedia with no real reason given to why. Free speech anyone?

""We have witnessed an intolerable and intrusive international police operation against a network specialising in independent journalism," - Aidan White, general secretary of the International Federation of Journalists.

On a lighter note, apparently women are better at holding their drink. With some of the women I know, I never doubted that fact for a moment. Thats probably why I never get anywhere when I try to get women drunk. Err, did I say that out loud.....?

What do people think about the Windows XP interface? Personally the first thing I do when I install Windows XP is to change to the classic interface and I know a lot of other people do the same. It's no less functional, just less annoying as it's not always trying to make everything 'simple'.

The reason I ask is the university will soon start making the transition to Windows XP (from 2000) and one 'enlightened' member of staff saw it as his duty to push the XP interface. Why stick to a years old interface he said. Lets move with the times he said. People will be used to it after using it at home he said.

As a result of the concerns he voiced (and the agreement of just 13 other people out of like 20,000 computer users) we will now have the XP interface as a default. Pah! No thought was really put into what people actually will be using the computers for! I mean 90% of the people using them could probably survive with just a few big shortcut buttons. One labeled "Use Interwebnet", one call "Use Email", one called "Write Stuff in Word" and one called "Logoff". Maybe a couple of extra for the students like "Messenger" and "Graphs and Stuff" etc. Why is XP any better for them?

Oooh, he's so going in my book of 'people who get bugger all help when they ask'!!

Nuff said.

Seems all our kids are going to end up polluted. Not that I'm going to ever have any kids - that usually involves some sort of contact with that species I seem to have little luck with - woman.

I watched this the other day - Flashmob - The Opera. It was.... interesting.

Just like to wish my mate Sparky a very Happy Birthday! Don't worry, I'll be joining you at that age soon enough matey....

I've had a lazy day today. One of those lazy days where you just sit around.... well lazing I guess. I motivated myself enough to spend half an hour tidying the kitchen at one point. I also managed a trip to the off licence as once again my wine supplies were depleted and you can't have a lazy day without a glass of wine in the evening. Actually we have about 15 bottles of wine in the house but I'm sure they are not mine cos when I buy a bottle of wine it never lasts more than a week.....

Much of the weekend has been spent watching Firefly episodes after my housemate borrowed the full series on DVD. I've said it before but I'll say it again, you should watch it.

We are also babysitting two rabbits - Harvey and Harriet. Damn things seem to know exactly when something good is on the telly as they start making as much noise as possible. Must be some sort of animal sixth sense....

My workmate Mark and myself have decided that the life of the squirrel is the one for us. Every Winter, you find somewhere warm, curl up and go to sleep for several months craddling your nuts...

Some of you may remember back to my New Years resolution list - a fairly large selection of tasks and goals I set myself - and as we are now about 3/4 of the way through the year I thought it was time for a slight recap to see how well (or more likely how badly) I've done. To save you the effort of looking through my archives, here's what I set myself (with those already done crossed out)

• Get fit.
  
• Have a face mask.
  
• Travel more.
  
• Learn a new language.
  
• Be more confident.
  
• Ask a friend out.
  
• Read more.
  
• Get a new job.
  
• Be nicer to my mum and family.
  
• Wax something.
  
• Go roller skating.
  
• Do something nice for my best friend.
  
• Be more environmentally friendly.
  
• Be spontaneous.
  
• Do at least one really stupid/silly thing a month.
  
• Objective 14.
  
• Go to a lapdancing club.
  
• Go to the dentist.

Now some I have obviously failed in. I think it unlikely I'll get a new job or learn a new language in the next 12 weeks (and it is only 12 weeks until New Year you realise). The mysterious objective 14 - which only a few people are aware of - is not looking that hopefull either (and you have no idea how upset I am at that).

Others are probably not going to happen unless I really put some effort in (stop laughing you at the back). Reading more and getting fit being two that stand out. I've definitely done some really stupid things this year so that can probably be crossed out when the year finally ends. Same goes for a few of the others too.

One more that I think may well be achieved in the next week or so is "wax something". The subject came up again the other day and I agreed that on my return from Prague next week, I shall (probably, I've not signed anything legally binding, you can't hold me to it) wax my chest. No I'm not sending photos - unless you ask nicely.....

What better way to travel to work than by rocket powered shopping trolley. Bet I could do my shopping dead quick with that!!

For the scared and paranoid amongst you, what not carry the creditcard shotgun. Just be careful when opening your wallet....

I'm feeling a little jaded today. Okay, so hungover is probably the correct term but jaded sounds better (and less like it's my own fault). The reason for this is the leaving party organised by the person whos leaving presentation I went to last week. Again it was the lure of free alcohol and food that drew me - moth like - to the event.....

After a warm up drink or two at a nearby pub we arrived and were promptly handed little self made paper beer vouchers. Oh for a handy colour photocopier! I managed to be second in line when the buffet started and then proceeded to get quite drunk.

Now that's never a great idea when most of the senior members of your department are at the event and a couple of times I had those moments where you are talking about someone (for 'talking' read 'mocking', 'moaning about', 'insulting' etc.) only to turn round and find them stood behind you chatting to someone else. I think I got away with it tho....

Maybe I should learn to have more control at these event? Drink in moderation maybe? Network, say nice things to the boss, listen for interesting bits of information. Nah - bollocks to that. Drink, be merry and worry about getting sacked the day after is what I say!!

"Pssst. Here mate, need a submarine? One previous owner and not much on the clock. Last you for years this will....."

So do you think they will get their money back?

Update: I've only recently seen that someone died in this accident - my comments were not meant to cause offence.

Busy busy busy. It's quite nice having things to do for a change. Nothing too big, just a stream of little things to sort out.

I really didn't get much done yesterday afternoon though. This I think I can attribute to my diet. Let me explain...

Breakfast: Cup of tea and a bowl of All Bran (yes I know it taste like cardboard but I was made to eat it as a kid, I quite like it and it's healthy)

Mid-morning Snack: Packet of Doritos and a whole bag of marshmallows.

Lunch: Felt too ill after a whole bag of marshmallows and didn't eat anything.

The sugar rush kicked in at about 2pm. At that point I couldnt sit still or concentrate at all. I spent an hour and managed to write one paragraph of the appraisal write up I was supposed to be doing.

I'm going to leave it a while before I'm buying any more marshmallows......

... or are you just pleased to see me? Well no actually, it's just my vibrating trousers. I may not have angina but I still sure as hell want some!

So SpaceShipOne has managed its second flight and claimed the X-Prize. Maybe I will see trips to the moon being commonplace in my lifetime after all? Fantastic - I always wanted to find out what it was like to be weightless!

Of course this news will spur on Richard Branson and his Virgin Galactic plan. Given that the air condition was broken, the tea machine was failing to heat the water and I got crushed by the cubicle door on the new Virgin trains I recently travelled on, I'm not in a great hurry to book a seat....

The Geek Heirarchy - where do you fall?
(link via Paul)

For anyone that's interested (well actually I just want to rub Poon' nose in it) Marco Frogmeister has finished first in his races everyday this week. Current world rank of 7001. Can you beat that Poons???

I went to the cinema for the first time in ages today. I used to go a fair bit but my regular cinema partner has sadly departed these parts and it doesn't seem quite the same going on my own. I didn't have much planned today tho and I thought if I purchased a large tub of ice cream it might almost be like old times when she was there (minus the flicking spoonfulls at me). Unfortunately they hadn't opened the ice cream bar so with heavy heart and lacking ice cream I took my seat.

Last few films I'd been to see had all been action orientated (Hellboy being the last) because I'd always thought that if you are going to the watch a film on the big screen it might as well be something that is better on a big screen! Why watch a film with a complicated storyline - does having a huge picture and well placed digital sound make the plot any better? No. Lots of special effects tho - thats a different matter.

However Hellboy and the last couple before that had been a bit of a dissapointment so I opted for something different - a comedy. Dodgeball - A True Underdogs Story had looked good in the trailers so I picked that and it was alright. It was nothing amazing - I wasn't rolling in the isles - but it did have it's moments and there is just no denying that watching blokes get hit in the happy sack with a ball can usually prompt a chortle in most people.

Question is what do I go to see next....?

Thursday evening was the leaving presentation for someone from work. He'd been here 34 years I think they said (feels like I've been here almost that long). We were even closing the building early especially for the occassion. Personally I wasn't that bothered about going as I was on late shift anyway so whilst everyone else got to finish early, I'd still have to go back to work and lock up after. Still my curiosity - and the prospect of some free drinks - tempted me to turn up.

I intended to behave, really I did. Whilst there wasn't that much free wine a lot of people weren't drinking as they had to drive and it seemed such a shame to let it go to waste. Four glasses later and I was parked by the two trays of crisps that had (generously) been provided as nibbles - with my workmate Bruce - trying to eat as many of the KP Skips and Cheesy Wotsits as I could. Between us we ate a good portion of the crisps, finished off most of the wine and I had a conversation with someone about nipples (I said nibbles but she misheard and I had to explain) before I had to go back and lock up.

I don't think anyone noticed I was a little drunk....