Electric cars. Seems the car companies don't want to make them but some people do.

Jack Black always seems to get parts in real quality programs. Remember Heat Vision and Jack from a while ago? Well Computerman is of similar high quality. No, honest....

Of course you should not confuse that Computerman with Computerman College.

I've not made a particularly good start on my new years resolutions so far. Tried to change that last night.

I was watching C.S.I and one of the story lines made me think about some things. And thinking about those things made me want to do something. I do too much of that thinking stuff - it's not good for you - so instead went for the spontaneous action approach and made a donation then and there.

Thats me. No motivation to do owt today - must be that Friday feeling. However....

I remember this video from ages ago on MTV. Takes about a week to load so go make a cup of tea or five. One of the more interesting music videos I've seen tho. It's called Bushes and the video reflects this.....

Ow.

iPod tissues. Or is that the iTissue??

If you have a secret that you have a burning desire to share (anonymously) with the rest of the world then put it on a postcard and send it to PostSecret. A pretty interesting read....

Not sure what I would share really, although - like most people - I imagine I have a few....

On an entirely different note, a man was arrested for making an online donation to the tsunami relief fund using the lynx text based browser. I remember using that in some of my first forrays into the world of the interwebnet (or internet as it was known back then).

A retired couple bought a cheap DVD from the supermarket, which they thought was a Dorris Day film but found that it actually contained a rauncy sex film.The film was called 'Tettore che Passione' which is supposed to translate as 'Breasts of Passion' but babelfish doesn't agree. Probably why I can't find it listed anywhere.

Anyway, classic quote.

"My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn't believe what we were seeing."

Bet they watched it again after just to make sure they were still shocked.

"The film became progressively more graphic, there was no plot to it, it was just sex."

So pretty much like any porn film then really....
(link via Paul)

Norway is set to kill 25% of it's wolf population in a cull. Sounds even worse when you realize that they only have 20 left anyway. Are they seriously saying that twenty wolves is too many in a country 125,004 sq miles in size? The wolves are on the countries critically endangered list yet it was the Directorate for Nature that authorized the cull. So what exactly does this directorate do for nature then?

This almost seems staged as I can't imagine anyone as unprepared as this weatherman. Either way, it's pretty funny viewing.

Speaking of funny, I loved the bunny suicide pictures when I found them the other day but the page seems to have now been taken down. My guess is that it was copyright infringement. So guess if you want to see them, you'll have to buy the book.

Lots of people in animal outfits dancing to a very repetitive feel-good song. You know you want to watch it....

Surround sound headphones anyone? So stylish too......

You have to admire those behind such a great idea! I've always thought elections are too serious.

Granny tried to sell book on cooking with cannabis. She was caught last year with 31 cannabis plants in her attic and charged.

"When the police came to my door I invited them in. I told them to look in the loft and I offered them some tea and biscuits."

I bet she did. I wonder if any of them accepted? I can just picture it now - "Sarge, these biscuits taste a bit.. funny?".

Help the panda (who appears to be riding a bicycle) to defeat the evil alien brain suckers!!

And this game is quite addictive. Set off a chain reaction and try to destroy as many blue dots as possible.
(links via Bloggerheads)

I've been busy, what can I say. Finally I shall update you on my weekend tho. Damn I had a good time in Amsterdam! It was just what I needed to finally give me the push to start the new year properly rather than moping about like I have been.

So what did I get up to? Well, I did a lot of wandering on friday. My friend Spooney was at work and I had to keep myself occupied - never an easy task for one with such a short attention span as me. I walked to the flower market cos someone said I should go. Then I went to the museum quarter cos it sounded cool. But it was just full of museums. Who would have thought? I can't do museums on my own so I moved on. Finally the cold drove me to seek sanctuary in a bar whilst I waited for her to finish work. Then we stayed up late and drank lots.

Saturday was the day we decided to do all the things which I feel you have to do if visiting Amsterdam. Of course the red light district was on that list. Many a red lit windows was walked past as we tried to cover every road and tiny side street in our exploration of the area. Most of them I wish I'd never looked in - not a pretty sight. And we visited the sex shops. I'm not telling you what I bought.

Then it was onto the next experience. It's an odd feeling walking into a bar and asking for a 'space brownie'. You half expect some vacuum packed anti-gravity chocolate snack to be placed before you. Other than feeling a little seperated from my body, it didn't affect me that much. Until after I went to bed anyway. Then I woke up an hour later to find the world spinning and to feel like I had a bad hangover the next morning. Although of course it could have actually been a hangover as I had been drinking beer too.

If my mum ever reads this I'm so going to lose my status as the perfect son....

The only other interesting thing to happen was on my trip back. As I mentioned, they are very security concious at Schipol airport. I'm used to being searched by security as a result of the steel toe cap boots I wear but I've never had my bag searched before. Out comes all my stuff to be placed on the table for all to see, including my recent red light purchase (the bloke actually held it up to show one of his colleagues). Finally I'm allowed to move on, only to discover that they run another security check by the boarding gate for the flight. Another frisking and another search of my bag by a young security woman (who at least seemed a little nicer and more discreet).

When I finally think I'm done, they announce a gate change so off we all head to gate D16 and yet another frisking for me. Luckily they seemed to have tired of trying to find something of interest in my bag and let me through. Not that I was that bothered to be honest, I thought it was quite amusing. Well, except the having to constantly repack my bag bit.

I know you are all dying to hear what I got up to whilst away but I thought I might first bring you 'BlogMonkeys Handy Dandy Travel Trips' as learnt on this voyage of discovery.

1. Coventry Airport should better be called Coventry Airfield. Or maybe Coventry shed with a long straight path round the back. The flights from there are cheap and so is the airport. You get what you pay for in this case.

2. The Dutch are voyeurs. Open the door to any toilet anywhere and you can see right in. Hell, one at the train station didn't even have a door, just a turnstile. Not so much an issue for the ladies with their cubicles but any bloke that has trouble performing under pressure - and a pub full of people watching you at a urinal would probably class as pressure - needs to keep this in mind. Unisex toilets can also be found.

3. Security at the airport is very tight. Having your bag searched is not uncommon, especially if you've packed a lot of things that look dodgy under x-ray. And they don't just have a little poke around, they get everything out and open every little bag and container for the world to see. If you go shopping in the red light district whilst over there, keep this in mind.

I have returned from my long weekend of sex, drugs and rock n roll! Ok, so there was no sex but I did look at a couple of jazz mags in the red light district. And no rock and roll either I guess unless you count doing some of the moves from an Outkast song whilst a little drunk on the train.

But there were drugs.

And beer.

And an old car.

Oh please! Conservative groups in America are getting all worked up over a video aimed at kids and trying to promote tolerance. Why can't they just leave Spongebob alone!!

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organisation is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," Paul Batura, a spokesman for Focus on the Family, told the New York Times.

Brainwashing them to be happy, kind and tolerant to other people? How awfull*.

* sarcasm

Some terrible pictures of soldiers opening fire on a car containing a family in Iraq. Whilst not too graphic, it's still not nice...

(link via Bloggerheads)

Ok, just one more before I go. Beware the evil that is tin whiskers!

Oh, and don't forget to recycle those gadgets.

Sorry for the lack of posts today. Am lacking any energy and what little I do have I'm storing up for my trip to Amsterdam in a few hours. Should be a fairly straight forward journey but as I'm struggling to even figure out if I've packed everything I need I'm not taking anything for granted.

The day has not gone so well right from the start. Beginning with shaking a bottle of milk that was actually already open (little messy), spilling my cup of coffee and then my computer playing silly buggers with me when I finally got into work. I'm not even going to mention my lumpy head....

So, I'll be back on Monday. Doubt I'll be posting from over there. In the meantime don't forget to shake it like a polaroid picture.

Muvo now playing Narcotic Thrust: I like It

Found this ages ago but never quite got around to posting it - the ickle archives.

Ooooh, isn't he just dreamy!!

I'm sure you've all been worried about my recent lack of sleep so you'll be pleased to know that I actually slept like a big (really tired) log last night. So much better!!

Of course in order to balance out the good, the universe must also dish out the bad. I appear to now have swollen glands. Several lumps in my neck and behind my ear which do feel quite tender - although if I'm honest I didn't notice any tenderness until after I found them when shaving and started poking them quite vigoursly (well what else are you supposed to do with a lump but prod it?).

It's not mumps as I woke up with that on Christmas morning many years ago. My guess, it's all related to my bad back - all of it's down my right side.

Okay body, just hold together 'til I get back from Amsterdam on Monday. Then you can fall apart.....

Just one good nights sleep - is it so much to ask!? I went to bed very early, I even had a nice cup of hot chocolate with squirty cream on top at the suggestion of a friend but it was all in vain. Not so much waking up and thinking about things which I really shouldn't be thinking about last night but weird dreams aplenty.

Looking after a baby, living in a giant treehouse, a game of football and ending with a huge Pokémon battle by the sea. I don't even watch Pokémon anym... errr, I mean have never even watched Pokémon before!

MuVo now playing Barenaked Ladies: Aluminum

The government telling porkies. Who would have thought...

There is a good article I found over at Toms Hardware over the weekend that is full of advice on how to fix a seriously messed up Windows XP machine without resorting to a reinstall.

Even an old tech suport pro like me can always learn a new thing or two.....

"where can I buy the socks to make monkey characters".

Ummm, in pretty much any shop that sells socks?

The US reveals research that was undertaken into developing non-lethal weapons including a chemical to give the enemy bad breath and a 'love bomb' that makes soldiers sexually irresistable to each other. My favourite is the 'Who, me?' bomb designed to cause severe flatulence.

Police in Austria arrested a woman for haunting a house. Big coward - calling the police to investigate the 'scary noises'....

A bloke finds his toothache is actually caused by a 4 inch nail imbeded in his skull. How can you not notice you shot yourself in the head with a nailgun? Classic quote from the doctors.

"If you're going to have a nail in the brain, that's the way you want it to be."

My friends and I got talking about New Years resolutions in the pub on Saturday. It occured to me that nearly everyone sets themselves boring resolutions - eat less chocolate, go the the gym more, stop smoking etc. Now I'm not knocking those but where's the fun?? In my mind you should always have a few things you've always wanted to do and a few really daft ones. The sort of stuff you've thought "Yeah, I'll do that one day" but know you probably won't unless you get off your arse and make the effort! Having them as a resolution helps provide that little extra impetus.

Now the only reason I mention this is it led to the next topic of conversation - daft challenges! I'm not sure if most of the group will even try this or if it will just be passed off as a daft idea over a few pints and promptly forgotten about. I'm not one to pass up the chance to partake of a little sillyness however......

The Challenge - to obtain the most respect worthy signed photo of a celeb.
The Prize - I believe a free night out (ie. dont have to buy any drinks) was agreed.
The End Date - March 15th

I think the trick will lie in finding a minor celeb (hence improving the chance of getting an photo) but one who is also high on the old cheese factor. Think David Hasselhoff might be a little too big a name....

With my impending trip to Amsterdam looming next week and the fact that one of my few pairs of jeans seem to have been shrinking steadily - the bottoms working their way up to my ankles to give me that classy Micheal Jackson look from the 80's - I've been on the lookout for a new pair. Several trips shopping and I've finally found them. Really not an easy task for me as finding the right style is one thing - getting the right size is another entirely! Anyone would think that there are no men in the world with a 30" waist.

In non-shopping related news, my sleepless nights continue. I really hate having things on my mind and not being able to switch off in the early hours of the morning. This has not been helped much by waking up at about 2am a few nights back and finding I had a slight ache just below my right shoulder blade. Unfortunately not a result of a playfull stint on a bouncy castle or a slightly energetic rumpy (and possibly pumpy) session but more likely to do with my tossing (and turning) sleepless nights.

Whilst a little better now, I have been woken up with shooting pains as I rolled over in my sleep the last couple of nights. God you'd think I was 50 rather than 30....

So it seems that Delyn Conservatives have bought back the domain www.delynconservatives.com after the supposed hijacking incident the other day. As my workmate Paul pointed out, does this mean the Conservatives are now funding pornographers as I can't imagine the owner let it go cheaply.

Man to sell oyster shell with face of Christ on it. Might look like Christ after he drank 8 pints or had a stroke maybe? Never new he had such googely eyes either...

Someone asked me yesterday if it was worth being there for a friend you really care about if the cost is your own happiness? I didn't really think about that question straight away. The answer seemed obvious - that sometimes there are limits to what you can do.

But laying there thinking about it during one of my sleepless nights and I came to the conclussion that there are a some people you would happily pay that price for...

So they finally have proof of global dimming. And if they are right in that the cooling caused by dimming is balancing the heating caused by global warming.....

... it's finally here!! I am once again musically mobile!

Yay for new toys!

So this Conservative website wasn't exactly hijacked now was it? They forgot to renew the domain name and someone else bought it - filling it full of interwebnet pron!

"This is full-on porn. What perverted mind connects a political party to a porn site?" said North Wales AM Brynle Williams.

Yeah, cos politics and sleaze never usually go together.

"I've spoken to the scientific crimes officer in North Wales Police and he said he'll look into it."

Oh good, wasting police time too. What exactly is there to look into? They messed up - end of story. I'm sure the police are investigating as we speak.....

Busted. And it was such a foolproof plan too....

Seems Canadian scientist have created a new spray on material that is five times more efficient at collecting energy than modern solar cells. Answer to the worlds renewable energy needs you'd think?! No, apparently they see it being more use to make solar collecting shirt collars to power your phone and iPod......

this article also makes an interesting read.

Something to keep you occupied in those quiet periods. A couple of Google searches that list a load of unsecured webcams. One here and another here.

I found puppies in cages and a fish tank cam.

(link via BoingBoing)

About a week before Christmas I sent a little pressie to my fellow blogger in New York. Never arrived. Pah! But then I guess I should have expected that....

Oh, and do as the Bunni girl says or she'll get cross. Vote Bakerina!

Lets see, first up with have The Helix.. Loaded. Yes it's a ripoff, yes its quite amusing and yes, that is Vanilla Ice. That man gets everywhere....

Next, something smutty. Black and white instructional video on How to get your girlfriend to say yes (whispers) to anal sex. I'm so going to get unwanted visitors to this place the next few days...

Finally, something I have posed before but it is funny, (in high pitched voice) "funnnneeeee". You'll get it in a minute. Strindberg and Helium.

Maybe I should stop drinking now?

Something's wrong! I think I'm falling sick. I bought some Nivea moisturiser yesterday.

Whats next? Scented bath oils?

Just a little update on whats been going on with Mr BlogMonkey.

After carefull consideration of all the suggestions I had (thanks Nat) when I asked people to recommend a new aftershave to me, I decided to ignore tham all and do some of my own research. A little time spent looking around on various forums and I went with one I'd never actually heard of before. Should be with me sometime next week and no, I'm not telling you what it is yet.... And for those clueless blokes like me out there that have no idea what the difference between aftershave and eau de toilet is (and other such stuff) then this page might help.

With the impending arrival of my new mp3 player (hopefully) tomorrow, I've spent the afternoon ripping my CD collection. My pick of the applications for doing this is Easy CD-DA Extractor. Easy to use, quick and free. Go get it.

Jerry Spinger: The Opera - very good. Almost enough to get me into opera.....

With my one of my bestest buddies - Spooney - now living in Amsterdam, I just downloaded Skype as an alternative to MSN Messenger. Got no contacts to try it with yet tho (and don't want to get her to install it if it's not worth the effort). Anyone used it and is it good?

I've actually had a hard time coming up with some resolutions for this year, mainly as I seem to be having a hard time finding any motivation to even start the year. Most people I know seem to start the New Year full of optimism - however briefly that lasts. I on the other hand am doing the opposite.

Anyway, to the list (some recycled from last year)....

• Stop thinking so much.
  
• Get fit.
  
• Read more.
  
• Eat more healthily
  
• Get a new job.
  
• Eat less chocolate and polos
  
• Go to a lapdancing club.
  
• Spend less time in the shower when I have one (save water/energy)
  
• Go to the dentist.
  
• Play strip poker.
  
• Donate more to charity.

Hmmmm, think that will do for now.

I'm not sure how many of you outside the UK (or even those here to be honest) know about the outcry caused by BBC2 showing Jerry Springer: The Opera later tonight. Christians up in arms. 40,000 complaints before it's even shown.

Now me, I don't have any religious beliefs. I don't see why you need them in order to be a 'good' person. I do respect other peoples right to have them however and tolerate them - unless they are trying to shove their beliefs down my throat. Thats seems to be whats happening here with Christians trying to get the program removed - taking away the right of people to watch what they choose - just cos they don't agree with it. Where is the tolerance there?

I find it hard to understand their reasoning too. The image of Jesus in a nappy is so ludicrous that I don't see how anyone can take it as more than a joke - let alone be insulted by it? And why not complain when the show first came out rather than now, when it's going to be shown on TV. Does insult only ocour when the number of people seeing it reaches a certain level?

Anyway Manic has put on his patented angry pants and provides more indepth information about this than you could shake a really big stick at. Viral email campaigns, made up facts about the show (just follow the links). You can also see some opions on the BBCs site itself.

I'll just finish by saying that in a world full of so many problems, I'm amazed that 40,000 people wasted time complaining about something so stupid whilst at the same time giving it a huge amount of free publicity. Before I would likely never have even given it a second glance but now? You can guess what I'm going to be watching later tonight....

The vibrating of my phone dragged my from the (rather pleasant) dream I was having. I blindly fumbled for it but too late as it vibrated itself off the bedside cabinet and into the wine glass I'd left on the floor the night before.

"Bollocks" I thought as the half awake part of my brain dimly recognised the sound of breaking glass. Stupidly feeling about in the bits of glass (I'm amazed I didn't cut myself) I finally retrieved my phone and answered it.

It was the TV repair man telling me he'd be here in 5 minutes to look at our set. It was 8am.

Nice start to my weekend.

... not enough... energy.. to post.. or even.... type al... th lettrs.... neded...

Found this earlier tho - good blog that make you think about stuff.

So I saw the advert on my way to work a few times and got sucked into visiting the website. Go vote at the Campaign for Real Beauty.

If I'm honest I voted 'nay' on most cos I just didn't find them attractive. I did vote 'yay' for freckles tho - but then I've always had a thing for readheads and freckles.....

I'm sure anyone with access to music channels on their TV is - like me- totally fed up with those damn ringtone adverts on all the sodding time. I mean who the hell buys them??? And the one that is most annoying is the crazy frog.

Like me I suspect many of you also remember seeing (or more accurately hearing) this somewhere on the interwebnet before the ringtone but never thought more about it.

Well, Manic did and - should you be interested - gives you everything you ever wanted to know about the origin of that most annoying soundbite......

So has this bloke never heard of the off button. I mean really. This is they type of thing that should be thrown out of the court in about 15.6 seconds!

"Well they said they were going to be eating dead rats but I decided to watch anyway. Then I felt faint and rather than turn it over I ran out of the room like a big girl and fell over and hit my head. And it really hurt!! So that's why I think I deserve $2.5 million."

Arse.

.. I still have to get rid of the Christmas logo and stuff - I have to replace it with something tho and I 'aint feeling particularly creative/imaginative right now. It's on my 'to do' list....

The good news today is that I got a late Christmas present from the person who always knows exactly what to get me - me!! Oh yes, one of these little beauties should be winging its way to me sometime this week. How nice it will be to be back in the world of portable music after my trusted minidisc player finally gave up the ghost earlier this year. Walks to work have been so much more dull since then...

Up until this aftenoon I was going to get something a little bigger - and not an iPod as although they do look nice I'm not sure they are really worth the extra money. When I gave it a little thought it didn't really seem worth spending that extra £100 on something thats far chunkier and can hold a 20,000 songs when most of the time I only need enough music to last me from here into town and back! By my reckoning this should last me til this time next year when I'll be able to buy an mp3 player thats about the size of a grain of sand, holds 50 trillion songs, is voice activated with a battery that last 4 weeks and sets me back about a tenner!

Oh, and I ordered some headphones too. No idea if they are anygood but the brand is apparently good (says me the headphone expert after an hour of research).

And the best news of the days is that I got offered my overtime over xmas in actual money rather than time off. Proper real money! Enough (if my claculations are correct) to almost pay for my new toy.

Today was a good day.

A particularly bad taste selection today as well. A little ditty about errrr... womens stuff.

And I think this might be a slight improvement on the re-release - Banned Aid.
(link via Poons tho Bruce showed it to me before that)

Now this is an imaginative game. You're a fly - go explore and eat blue dots. Music's good too.

An interesting website called Paper Islands about the inhabitants of a paper universe. The game is fun for a quick play too.

(link viaThe Presurfer).

A highly scientific study has concluded that the chocolate teapot is indeed useless. Doesn't say if they tested it with waterproof teabags or not....

The top 10 tech terms from 2004. My personal favourites are 'Netlag' and 'Mouselexia' (which my mum definitely has).

As usual Engadget has a load of lovely stuff thats coming out. So I'd thought I'd pick the best of those that might help if - like me - you are starting back at work today.

First, getting into work and getting around after all that Christmas food will be a struggle so what better than some bionic legs? Course once at work you'll need some coffee to help keep you awake and with this handy USB coffee cup heater you'll be sure to always have a warm drink at hand.

Finally, when the stress of actually having to DO some work gets too much, you can always just scream!! Actually, I'm keen to see what some of the others in this series of wearable body organs can do, like the HoldBody, FightBody and HideBody.....

Even though I've been hiding in my bedroom the last few days, I've still been watching all the images coming out of Asia since the tsunami last week. Can't imagine what it must be like out there with all the destruction and dead bodies littering the ground.

Like many, I was dissapointed by the slow response of some world leaders. For instance Tony Blair took several days before commiting two navy ships to the area - ships that would take almost a week to get there. Why could they not be sent straight away? There would have been no harm in sending them even if they were recalled a couple of days later.

I've also been truly stunned by the generosity of the UK public. To give so much that the government has to keep increasing it's donation to match it in order not to look stupid is amazing. We seem to be the most generous public it would seem and thats something to be proud of.

I was also a little surprised to find (tho I did wonder) that this is not the worst disaster, even in recent times. There have been far worse! It's only the extensive media coverge - and the terms they use to describe it - that makes it seem that way.....

I'm still giving this some thought. Okay, thats a lie - I've not given it any thought. I will tho. Next few days....

In the meantime I've updated last years resolutions list to show mt final score (I gave my self the benefit of the doubt on some).

Wish I had a good reason for not updating for several days but the honest truth is I didn't have much to say. As I had to go straight to Cornwall the day after I finished work and then get ready for New Year when I got back, the last few days have really been the first chance I had to relax and not have to worry about doing anything. So thats exactly what I did.

Can you say time wasting lazy arse kids.

I've more or less spent the last few days camped out in my bedroom playing X2 (which I picked up for a reasonable price in the sales), only venturing out for trips to the bathroom, food (when pressed) and when the pounding in my head from looking at the monitor for 15 hours straight makes my brain go squiffy. I don't do it often and I'll probably be bored of it in a couple of days but it's nice once in a while.

What else? Oh, happy New year to everyone. See, told you, squiffy! The party on Friday night was good although I popped my cork late (for the fizzy wine - I couldn't get it out). Don't think I'll make mulled wine again for a party, although I enjoyed drinking it. But then I drink anything.

The Playstation 2 that I was kindly bought for my birthday finally arrived. Unfotunately forward planning not being one of my strong points I forgot to get any games before hand. Will do some hunting on Ebay for this in the next couple of days so i can finally give it a try (it's still in the box).

Normal service will resume tomorrow when I get back to work. Probably.