Friday, April 29, 2005
So it's that time of year again. Students beavering away on their dissertations, desperately trying to get them done before hand in time (whilst still going out drinking 5 nights a week). So of course you inevitably get people that store 3 months worth of work on a floppy disk which their little brother then throws out the window. Into the garden. When it's raining (true story - it was still wet when she gave it to me). And they never have backups.So far this week we've had two 'criers' in - a young girl with a corrupt floppy disk who carried on sobbing for 10 minutes even after I told her we'd managed to save everything and another young girl that had lost the USB pen drive that held all her work. Her prospects were less hopefull but one of the nice men I work with went out of his way to track down every person that had used computers near to where she had been sitting at the time and emailed all of them. One bloke finally owned up to having the drive which he'd 'found and was keeping safe'. No doubt he'd been getting ready to hand it in at any moment......
When will they ever learn? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:53 PM
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Seems one of the latest crazes for kids over here in the UK is the phenomenon known as Happy Slapping. Basically it involves slapping people whilst videoing it with a mobile phone.Sounded fairly innocent til I say some of the video clips. 'Slapping' is possibly too light a word - I saw one guy virtually clothesline some unawares kid riding past on his bike. The article above also talks about a group of kids setting on someone at a cash machine and stealing their money. Surely thats known as mugging them? Just cos they filmed it at the same time doesn't change that.
Favourite quote about this from some forum.
"If you feel bored wen ur about an u got a video phone den bitch slap sum norman, innit."
Does this remind you of the old "You know, when you've been tango'ed" craze quite a while ago (video here of the Orange Guy if you need reminding)? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:11 PM
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I love Evil Dead (especially 2) and Highlander is a great film. So what could be better than the two heroes from these films meeting head to head in a plasticine clash of the titans - Debil Dead.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:41 PM
In the last couple of weeks I've now read three books which is more than I've read in the last couple of years I think. On my last trip to the library I went hunting for some of the books that had been suggested to me by you - my loyal readers. Some I couldnt find. Others were in a section occupied by a man from which an incredible smell of BO was emanating. I lasted about one minute before I gave up my search and had to leave for some fresh air or risk vomiting on the horror section (rather apt I guess). A shame as I'd just noticed the comic books (errr, graphic novels) in the same area and wouldn't have minded a flick....
I did come away with a couple more books by Evelyn Waugh who I've quite taken to reading. They are funny in a very dry way but they are also quite dark. Happy endings were not one of his strong points.
This week however I have been reading a book sent to me by friend (complete with stains which she claims are mayonnaise and which I'm happy to try and not think about) called 'The Sexual Life of Catherine M'. Probably not the sort of book I should be reading at work - especially if my boss comes to see me again. Whats life without a little risk tho!? As long as I keep the cover facing down and can keep coming up with excuses not to stand up when people come to see me I should be okay.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:32 AM
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
A distinct lack of posting today as it seems to be a pretty slow one - both here at work and on the interwebnet in general. Still, a site that always provides some good entertainment and one that I have linked to before is Channel 101 where you can find such quality shows as Ultraforce or Laser Fart.It's childish I know but I like it.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:11 PM
If you've been on the interwebnet for a while you should have no problem figuring out who created this little song and dance number for Halls Fruit Breezers....
(okay, here is a hint. And another.) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:59 AM
Monday, April 25, 2005
Might just pop here before I go to the cinema next time for a little film review. Which reminds me - I have a 2 for 1 ticket for the cinema that I have to use this week. Wonder whats on.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:01 PM
This expression originates from the time of Charles Dickens, when it was known as a slap-bang meal, derived from cheap eating houses, where one's money was slapped down as the food was banged on the table. It appears in Dickens' Sketches by Boz, 3:36 'They lived in the same street, walked to town every morning at the same hour, dined at the same slap-bang every day.'
Now don't say I never learn you nothing! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:13 AM
Friday, April 22, 2005
Why is it that people ignore their own common sense? This little voice that sits at the back of your head telling you to "do this" or "no, dont do that" (usually the latter) and you know damn well it's right. But you make excuses. You justify the action you choose to take with wild logic or you just plain ignore it.And when you do you end up $"*%ing things up royally like me. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:34 PM
When you are too bored to eat you know you need shooting.
Save me from this life of tedium someone! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:44 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
A comic for the intellectual - Action Philosophers!
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:53 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
So I have a new cunning plan. Now that I no longer have to do helpdesk in the afternoon and basically get to sit doing nothing at all, I can actually go drinking at lunchtime and - hopefully being slightly drunk - the afternoon will go by so much faster.Or I just hide cans of carling in my desk draw and nip behind the servers for a swig every now and again.
Both work for me.
I'm so fired if my boss reads this. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:04 PM
Even worse, you then can't help but delve deeper. You know you should just move on and forget it but some little sadistic part of you keeps pushing you on. And then you end up feeling more rubbish than you did before.
What I need is to forget life sucks.
Oh well, suppose it's not just me. Andre is not exactly having a great time either. Totally agree with you mate. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:03 AM
Monday, April 18, 2005
This story made my day. Old granny stops burglar by chucking a garden gnome at him. Another great quote from the feisty Jean Collop"I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn't want to break another gnome."# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:43 PM
"... or door latches that can be opened with a flashlight."
Cos carrying a torch around is so much easier than just using a door handle? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:35 PM
I feel robbed.
I feel like there are so many other nice things I could do with that money.
You can get cheaper tickets if you book in advance but the train companies seem to get around this by having about 4 seats per train that can be booked. Unless you try and book your ticket about 15.64 seconds after they become available you are doomed to shelling out enough cash to feed an Afghan family for a month.
And then when you get on the train you either find that
a) It's so full that you have to stand shoulder to shoulder with seven other people near the toilet for four hours straight - shuffling about every few minutes to let someone squeeze past.
or
b) It's so empty you wonder why the hell you couldn't book a seat in the first place.
But it's my nephews wedding so I have to go back. I'm just going to resent being on that train for every minute of the 7 hour journey.....
Here endeth my rant. Please carry on as before. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:45 PM
I would fill you in on the exciting events of the weekend but there is not much to tell (or that I can remember after getting pretty drunk on Friday night). Okay, I had a very nice, relaxing bath. I also did a little exploring, saw a few sights and learnt a few new things. Shame I didnt get any pictures. Was a lot of fun tho.
Two hours til I can leave this hell that is work and go home.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:46 PM
Friday, April 15, 2005
So having saved shed loads of money by staying in lots and playing City of Heroes constantly, I've had a splurge this week on buying stuff on Ebay. Getting four CDs and a DVD for under twenty quid is a good deal in my book. If only CDs in the shops were that cheap I think sales would go through the roof...Anyway, Had a quick listen to the first three CDs that arrived yesterday and my favourite was easy to pick. Didn't take me long to find my favourite song on that album either.
MuVo now playing Amy Studt: If Only. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:18 PM
I woke up this morning and realized that I'd forgotten to do something yesterday ready for my shift this morning. It's the second time recently I've forgotten. It's not because I'm forgetful, I'm just losing track of time. Each day blurring into one hazy mess. Eight hours at work gone... somewhere?
It's not because I'm forgetful, I just don't realise the week has ended until it has.
God I need a new job. Or for someone to shoot me - it might be kinder.
On the plus side of having nothing to do at work, I've started reading. The first book I borrowed from the library was 'The Loved One' by Evelyn Waugh - suggested to me by the lovely Bunni. I started reading it yesterday. Finished it yesterday too. Well it wasn't a big book.
I'm trying for a little more culture in my reading. My teens and beyond were full of nothing but Fantasy books. It was escapism pure and simple. I loved Robert E Howard and his Conan stories - sword and sorcery in its purest form. Then I just more or less stopped reading.
So anyone have any suggestions for my next read? Anything at all.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:33 AM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Find David Haselhoffs nipples. The game is not really that hard but on the plus side there are lots of pictures of nipples!
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 12:31 PM
"M is for the moan and the miserable groan from the pain that she felt when I was born."
Quality stuff. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:11 AM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I wasn't going to post much today but I thought this was worth making the effort for.I'll never claim to be particulary knowledgable when it comes to history (or geography, art, literature, politics etc..) or that interested in many cases. Sometimes tho you see stuff and you think "Did that really happen!"
The Nanjing Massacre.
That link does come with a warning. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:38 PM
All these factors have resulted in me feeling like I have a quartet of tapdancing hippos in my head. I thought it was a hangover to begin with but now I think it's just sleep deprivation.
Bloggage may be light. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:33 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Do you ever sometimes wonder if life would be easier if you just packed up and moved to live in a little shed on the top of a mountain with a goat and a few chickens, maybe a pet hamster and a little patch of ground you could grow vegetables on (but not peas or sprouts). Somewhere you wouldn't have to worry about trying to find a new job or about money. A place where politics is pointless. Where you don't have to get depressed about trying to find true love or being rejected when you do. No sales people phoning you when you are trying to eat dinner. No stressfull visits to see the family. No cars and no garden makeover programs on the telly. No adverts for Intel with that annoying sound. Just peace and quiet away from everything and everyone.No, me neither. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:25 AM
Monday, April 11, 2005
I did chuckle I have to admit.....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:18 PM
Rather than basing my whole betting strategy on something I'd heard some bloke say on a local news channel like I did last year, I took a look at a few websites. After a little research I was all set. I decided not to go for a big win, rather play the odds and try for a few smaller payouts.
My big bet, five pounds on Forest Gunner at 10-1. Then a smaller bet on another favourite, Hedgehunter at 10-1. Another small bet on Innox at 20-1 and finally an outside eachway bet (cor, almost sound like I know what I'm talking about) on Jakari at 40-1. How could I lose with such confident betting?
And indeed I didn't. I jumped up and down around the living room as one of my horses crossed the line. None of my big hopefulls came in but I did win £22, which considering I bet £15 was not brilliant but it did pay for my chinese takeaway that night. Almost.
Roll on next year! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:40 AM
Friday, April 08, 2005
I saw the news story the other day about how Hitachi and come up with a new way to increase HDD storage capacity but didnt feel it was really blogworthy. I mean storage capacity is always increasing.But that was before I saw this.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:39 PM
Ok, more than you needed to know I'm sure. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:49 PM
I discovered the wonders of this through Google Sightseeing. Great tag line for that site!
(link originally via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:37 PM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
The quest for energy. So as if oil wasn't bad enough..."Locked in mysterious crystals, the sediment beneath the seabed holds enough natural gas to fuel America's energy-guzzling society for decades, or to bring about sufficient climate change to melt the planet's glaciers and cause catastrophic flooding, depending on whom you talk to."# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:26 PM
(link via Spirana) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:23 PM
Roll-oh kinda reminds me of this guy. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:13 PM
"Quick" shouts the scared nun "show them your cross!"
"Ok" says the the other nun and shouts at the vampires "Why don't you both just *%$& off!!!
Okay, so its been a slow day....
(courtesy of Bonus) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:59 PM
Yes, it is a really bad chat up line which I would never, ever use!
*cough*
So anyone listening to Scott Mills on Radio 1 will have heard about his Flirt Divert idea. For those that don't know, the idea is that if you are out on the town and getting some unwanted romantic attention, when they ask for your phone number you give them the Flirt Divert number. Then he broadcasts the text and voicemail messages sent to this line on his show.
I would recommend a listen if you can catch his afternoon show. Some examples of text message sent to the line include...
"I'm reading you loud and clear, my engines are on full throttle, just tell me when I can come into land. Over and out. The captain"
Oh yeah, like that's going to work! And I know that this next one is just plain dirty but it also makes no sense at all really?
"Hello I am the hooded fish finger…come smell my fingers"
You have to wonder..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:21 AM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Several people have mentioned in the comments from my post about Constantine the other day that Sin City looks (or is) good. So I heeded the words of my lovely readers and went off to have a look at the trailer. It does indeed look good. *adds to list of films he wants to see*
I should mention to anyone else reading this that if you do a search for "Sin City" be very carefull that you do not click the link for www.sincity.com (not linking directly) as that is not a link to a site about the film. Oooooh no! Not a good page to open whilst at work unless you like scrambling madly for you mouse to close the browser window.....
Yes I know there is a page saying "Do not enter unless you are over 21" but I was only half paying attention. No - honest! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:10 PM
Now this is even more daft but its got a naked wizard hand puppet in it. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:08 PM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
I really haven't had much of a chance to look round this site but some of what I did see is quite interesting - such as these world poverty facts.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:54 PM
Town battles duck gang bangs.
I like the use of the word 'battles' - little dramatic maybe.
"It was along hard struggle but finally we defeated the evil duck hordes and their devilish plan...." # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:25 PM
And gaze in awe at the burny goodness of the solar death ray. If you have any chocolate bunies in need of melting- this is your peice of kit for the job!
(links stole... errr.. borrowed from Bingbangbosh) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:15 PM
With the departure of one of my minions last week I now have a shiny new computer (which Blogger appears to not work on properly). I'd stuck a mental post-it note on there as soon as she told me she was going claiming it as my own.
"I'm afraid I've handed in my notice"
"Thats a shame - sorry to see you leave" (Hmmm, that means I can have her computer)
"It's not the job, I just want to move onto new things"
"Totally understand" (and that chair is better than mine too....)
My previous computer came into my possesion when my old boss died. A little morbid maybe. I remember someone asking if I minded having a dead persons computer. Yeah, like that was going to stop me having my very own computer for the first time in 3 years. Maybe I'll be able to get my next new computer without anyone having to leave or die? I live in hope.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:40 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
Today is a quiet day. Today is a dead day. Today is the type of day where I sit at my desk thinking about all the little things I should be doing but not actually doing any of them because it doesn't seem worth the effort. The type of day where I feel like answering the phone with "What do you want now!?" everytime it rings as I really don't want to talk to somone about why they can't log in or which software they can order from us.Yes, I'm bored and I want to go home!
But I can't. Not for an hour at least.
Whilst killing time I'll mention that I went to see Constantine at the cinema yesterday. Now I thought it was a pretty good film - one of the better I've seen recently. It wasn't perfect, it didnt have any really amazing bits but it was well rounded and you could easily see it turning into a series. Bit like Underworld to be honest. Seems a lot of people that like the comic it is based on weren't so impressed tho.....
Never did give my review of the Spongebob Squarepants movie did I? For shame on me. I was a little dissapointed actually. I think the problem was a normal episode has no real plot - there is a basic background that just sets the stage for random sillyness. The film had a plot tho and Spongebob had to be serious a little too often I feel. And why so little of the other characters? Surely Spongebob's hero (and one of my fave characters) Mermaid Man should have been on hand to help him out?
Luckily the ever stupid Patrick was there to save the day. Favourite line
"Did you see my pants??"
"No Patrick"
"Would you like to?" # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:20 PM
Friday, April 01, 2005
So going all hi-tech isn't always a good idea as this man found out after thieves chopped of his finger so they could steal his car.....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 12:16 PM
I was asked to do the leaving presentation/speech, something that brought back memories of my best mans speech at my brothers wedding. I'd been fine that day up until dinner started and the nerves set in. Then panic.
I felt sick.
I couldn't breathe.
I had to leave - run away.
Deep breaths, back in control. Speech given on autopilot, vaguely listening to myself from a far distant place as the words I'd recited so many times just came out. Afterwards everyone said I was very good. I didn't believe them. I've still refused to watch the video to this day.
Yesterday was nothing like that. No nerves. A few laughs. Again they said it was good and again I'm not sure I believe them. Public speaking is just not for me I feel. However if ever asked to do it again I may well make things a little more interesting by purchasing a helium balloon and doing the whole thing sounding like Mickey Mouse. I wish I'd had that idea earlier on yesterday..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:58 AM
