Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Keep your ice cream safe....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:56 PM
On Star Wars Episode III
- use of "magic" to levitate, to control others and to do harm
- below navel skin, threatening to expose what follows
The film is pure eeeeeeeevil I tells ya....
(link via Bloggerheads) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:22 PM
a)Falling asleep or
b)Going insane
However, I didn't go straight home.... Getting back from work the day before I found a little card on the doormat informing me that I had a packet waiting for collection at the post office. Reason for not being delivered, a £1.28 surcharge. My curiousity was aroused. Someone sending me stuff? Must be something exciting!
And so I left work at 10am on Friday and rather than doing the sensible thing of going home for some much needed rest, I took the 40 minute detour into town. I had to know what was in that packet!
I paid the money, was handed the letter and with a slowly growing feeling of impending doom noticed that it was my mothers handwritting. I got outside and peeked into the envelope to find a copy of the University Graduate magazine - something I really have no interest in (as proved by the fact that I never told them where I now live).
A tiring forty minute walk and the price of a large bar of chocolate all for something that I threw in the bin when I got home. Her heart was in the right place tho, bless. Must. Bite. Toungue.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:54 AM
Friday, May 27, 2005
You know sometimes you see a hedgehog that tried to make a mad dash across the road but failed misserably. You know, the really flat ones that have been run over dozens of times. Well, thats what I feel like this morning, a very flat and run'd over hedgehog....Now that the weather has warmed up a bit I went to play rounders after work last night (any story that begins with physical exercise is not going to be good for me). It was suggested (by me, very vocally) the we go for a quick pint after - many readily agreed. I was only going to have one as after all I'm on early shift and needed to be up with the crack of dawn the next day. But then I ordered food and one pint turned into two. Then they announced the pub quiz was going to start and it seemed like a good idea to stay for that, so two pints turned into three.
You can see where this is going really can't you.
This morning I feel like death warmed over. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open at all. Developing a cold overnight and being woken up quite a lot with a sore throat and blocked nose has not helped at all. My cunning plan - dreamt up whilst in the shower - was to take a half day, which for this shift means a 10:30 finish!! Then I remembered that I can't as I'm on an interview panel this afternoon.
What sort of prat arranges a job interview for a Friday afternoon? A Friday before a Bank Holiday weekend as well.
I may still take it. Go home for a couple of hours and sleep and them come back in. I'm not sure I'll make it otherwise.....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 6:24 AM
Thursday, May 26, 2005
An 86 year old woman gets nasty when her pizza is not delivered.In other news, the Danish government plans to tax sperm donations. If you can be taxed, maybe they should start paying interest when you make a long term deposit at the bank.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:29 AM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Not bad at all - The Plumber.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:02 PM
a)Hows does having a tube of glass on fire look anything like a lightsaber? Surely just plugging the tubes in would look more realistic!
b)Hows stupid?!? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:04 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
Saturday morning I get a phone call from a friend."So what are you doing now and tonight?"
"Nothing and not much."
"Ok, come to Leeds then."
"Errr, why?"
"Why not?!"
And so I had a shower, shaved, packed my bags and headed off to Leeds. It's nice to be spontaneous. I feel I should also share a story that was told to me by one of the people I met whilst there - a tale of dating woe.
This young woman had joined an online dating agency and after receiving a few emails from various men, had one from a bloke that actually sounded quite nice. They chatted a little and finally arranged to go for dinner. It went well and they arranged a second dinner date. Again it went well. At this point he invited her round to his house for dinner for the third date.
She turned up and was impressed by the candles and roses on the table, starting to wonder if she had indeed found that most elusive of things - the nice guy. From what I can gather, music was put on and they had a glass of wine. He then he disappeared to the toilet and was gone for some time.....
He finally emerged wearing a leather/rubber gimp suit, complete with a face mask with a zip up the front. Suffice to say she left very quickly and without a word!
And people wonder why I don't want to join a dating agency!? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:19 PM
Friday, May 20, 2005
Not sure if it's made things faster or not when using Firefox, but you've got nowt to lose by trying it....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 1:41 PM
.A trailer for the follow up game - City of Villians. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:41 AM
Whilst on gadgets, something I haven't mentioned yet are the three new next generation consoles. I find it amazing that a huge amount of time and money must have been put into the final look of these things and yet Microsoft have just created something that looks like a slim PC case or curvy video recorder (depending on which way up you put it) whilst Sony have created - in the words of my workmate Bonus - something that closely resembles a slimline breadbox. At least Nintendo know how to make something that looks pretty. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:08 AM
Maybe just log on for a few minutes to see whats happening...
Maybe just quickly visit the shops...
Ok, mabye just help this team defeat the big bad robot overlord with his brain in a jar....
Halfpast midnight before I go to sleep in the end and then I'm up at 7am for another quick 10 mins online. I'm feeling knackered yet I know I'm going to go home and do the same tonight.
I'm not even going to tell you how many hours in total I've spent online recently....... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:35 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
This is pretty funny. And if you have no idea what its a spoof of then you are just too damn young (or not from the UK)....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:38 PM
Plus, why do all these things try and sell themselves by talking about how they can be used in the event of a terrorist attack? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:11 PM
(via Screenhead) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:45 PM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Why you would want to train your cat to use the toilet (apart from amusement value and to make it really unpopular with all its cat friends maybe?) I don't know but should you wish to try then you'll need this bit of kit (such a quality website - if you can call one image a website?) and this guide
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:34 PM
Of course if we don't save teh environment and certain animals become extinct it's ok cos we can just clone then. I want them to clone me one of them Mountain Bongo Antelope.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:25 PM
"Hello?"
"Hello"
"Hello??"
"Can I help?"
"Hello??"
That was the point I kinda guess it was going to be one of 'those' phone queries. I'm a nice guys - I try to help and be nice to people. Sometimes tho you just lose all patience (and the will to live) with people. Like when you get called 10 minutes before your lunch by an old woman. Who has a failing PC (probably Windows 95). And knows nothing about computers whatsoever. And can't see cos she has cataracts.
"I minimized the Word document and now I can't find it." (this would be the document called Dissertation.doc.doc, not to be confused with Dissertation.doc which was also open).
"Try pressing the Alt button and then pressing Tab to cycle through the programs that are running."
"The what button? All button? Oh, Alt button. Where is it? And what was that other one? Oh, found it. So press it you say. Oooh, it's flicking - I don't like that. My eyes - I have cataracts you know"
"So you've mentioned 5 times already...." (ok, so I only thought that bit)
Fifteen minutes of listening to her giving a running commentary on everything she did but holding the phone about 4 feet from her mouth so I could barely hear her and I was banging my head on the table. I'm a nice guy, but I have limits....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:58 PM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Or rather after the news actually. I have yet to see it (other than on a small streamed broadcast) but the new BBC weather forcasts don't seem to have gone down very well. Really not well at all.I shall try and catch one on the big screen later today but I think it may feel a bit like a ride at Alton Towers with all that zooming about.
Another case of technology being used just because they can....? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:29 PM
Monday, May 16, 2005
Oh dear. Another 5 minute interwebnet celebrity is born?
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:39 PM
On the other hand this spoof of the Citeron advert with the transforming, dancing car is laugh out laugh funny. Takes a while to load but well worth it. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:21 PM
a) You can have a larf
b) You will know what words never to mention if you don't want a selection of odd people turning up at your website....
These are only my estimates at the order of popularity and I have used some l33t speak so as to avoid attracting even more people with the phrases.
1) Car0l V0d3rman and various parts of her anatomy - I really never knew that so many people wanted to look at pictures of her arse (1-2 hits a day at least)
2) The Bab3cast and Bab3stati0n presenters - as if I couldn't have guessed mention programs where women get their norks out would have drawn people here....
3) Gunt3r and the Sunshin3 Girls - an annoying song that is still generating lots of traffic about a year or more after talking about it.
4) Gouranga on motorway bridges - actually one of my more informative posts back on last years Blogathon. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:40 AM
Friday, May 13, 2005
In my attempts to promote a good online game (and so you lot can see how I waste large chunks of my life nowdays) I bring you this page that details someones exploits in Paragon City. I'd do a similar page but I'm too busy playing.
(link via Nirejhenge) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:31 AM
Case in point. I've had about 50 hits the last day or so from people looking for info about this which I mentioned a while ago (media must be talking about it again). At the time I was ranked 8th (tho I'm down to 30th now). I'm not even in the top 100 on Google. Does MSN really think this blog is that popular...? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:16 AM
They were always a little absent minded and when I saw them last at Christmas it was hard to see any real signs other than a tendancy to forget details a little more often than they used to. I saw them again when I went home last weekend and in just those few months the change was much more noticeable. I was a little surprised by the amount of concentration it seemed to take to explain something to me at one point, like he was having a hard time finding the thoughts he was trying to put into words.
His wife doesn't seem to understand and gets cross having to explain or remind him of things over and over. I'm really not sure if she doesn't understand or just doesn't want to accept it. I tried to explain, maybe she listened? Things will be hard for them both if she hassn't and will only get worse.
They both seem to be trying to pretend that it's not happening. He is still relatively young and still at work. The doctors have told him that he should tell his workplace. He won't. He has worked there all his life and he can do the job as well now as he ever could - you don't forget that many years of experience easily. If they ask him what he was working on that morning however he has no idea. In his job, forgetting something simple could well cause an accident. Again I've tried to explain but it's not my place to interfere.
I wonder what I would do in his place.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:19 AM
Today is going to be a day of depressing posts, I can feel it. Which leads nicely into the next post.......... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:16 AM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Today there shall be no bloggage (apart from this post of course) as if I were to post it would likely be a long moan about how the universe is crap. I shall spare you that.(but it is tho) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:18 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Ski resorts resort to covering glaciers in tin foil to stop them melting. It'll be a giant sun shade over the earth next, I'm teling you....Whilst on the subject of shrinking glaciers and global warming, this is interesting. And if you want to help reduce carbon emissions, you can always stick a wind turbine on the side of your house. Or stop flying everywhere. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:47 AM
Many moons ago I also plugged the adventures of Pink Five. Now the saga like, totally draws to and end with the upcoming Return of Pink Five. Links to the previous two as well as a teaser for this installment are on the page.....
Whilst on the whole 'Star Wars pardody' thing, check out Grocery Store Wars.
Finally, a quite catchy bootleg - Suicide is Painless vs Pac Man Fever. (via Bloggerheads) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:35 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Like any young boy of the 80's, I loved The Transformers - especially Transformers the Movie. It was so much better than the rubbish new incarnations that seem to be about. Anyway, one of my favourite songs from the movie was The Touch by Stan Bush. I never did see the official music video featuring a toy Optimus Prime tho. Until now that is....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 7:17 AM
Monday, May 09, 2005
The wedding of my little (tho not the littlest) nephew was on Saturday. I use 'little' to describe age only as size wise they all dwarf me - even the 15 year old. People keep asking me how it went and I tell them it was good. To be honest, I wasn't paying much attention. My mind was on something else. My mind was on someone else.Whilst my nephew stood before the vicar and said "I do", my thoughts were full of regrets for things not said and done when I had the chance. Full of longing to see her again. And in the end full of sadness when I realise that that time has gone. But is it ever too late - no matter how hard - when the chance has still not past?
They say the only cure for love is love? That could be a problem. Finding one person in life that could be your soulmate is hard. Finding two....?
Oh, the reception was good. I got trashed on beer and cheap, luke warm bubbly. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:23 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
So I'm off home today for a few days for this family wedding. It'll be fun. No really. My mum will worry about every aspect of the wedding regardless of the fact that she is not involved in organising it in any way. My sister will get drunk and try to make me dance. My mums husband will probably crash the car on the way to/from the wedding as he really shouldn't be driving anymore. I'll get depressed with everyone asking me "Your turn next then?" as I watch my little nephew getting married whilst I seem incapable of even having a meaningful relationship with someone.Oh yeah, lots of fun. Can't wait.
At least having a 7 hour train trip today will mean that I will miss all this election crap. Annoys the hell out of me. Sod trying to have good policies, just try and make the other parties seem an even worse prospect than you so they have to vote for you. Never give a straight answer to anything. Never say you were wrong.
Tony Blair should be made to pay for his choices on Iraq tho. It will be a sad day if he gets voted in...
Come tomorrow we will either have the same government or a totally new one. And I still won't give a toss either way. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:33 AM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
So one in twently people fall for online scams and lose money? Apparently. Of course as this was an AOL survey I would imagine these are all AOL users? In which case 5% would seem really low.....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 9:16 AM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Bank holiday weekends - you have to love 'em! Nothing like having three days instead of two to be able to do as little as possible in. I know, I know, I should be doing something productive. I did think about prunning the roses in the front garden - does that count?I have kinda lost track of what day it is now. It feels like a Monday and I do get so confused. Doesn't help that I am actually off work and leaving for home come Thursday, so Wednesday will feel like Friday but also feel like Tuesday at the same time. I think?
Matron, my pills please... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:08 PM
