My head hurt yestreday morning. Drinking games are bad. No really, they are. Drinking Jenga, which means that even if you pull a block out successfully it might still say down in one. And if you knock it over - two shots. Shots of what you may ask. Well, everything basically. A selection of spirits were placed on the floor and a shotglass filled with whatever strange mix you fancied. Some were actually quite nice. The gin, Malibu and curdled Baileys shot I had - not so much.....

I got a little drunk and there are some very dodgy photos of me. The one of me making out with the cardboard skeleton. The one of me in a long white wig (it was actually a beard) posing rather seductively. Oh yes, embarassing shots indeed.

But you're not getting to see those.

No, stop asking.

Okay, you can have this one.



And that isn't that mask that made me smell of rubber before you ask.

In round about one hours time I'm off to a party. A halloween party. A fancy dress halloween party.

As usual I left it til just a couple of days ago before thinking about what I should wear. I had a few ideas but my favourite was going as a scary pumpkinhead thing. No, not this Pumpkinhead - just a bloke with a pumkin for a head.

My first plan was to buy a pumkin, hollow it out and wear it on my head. People convinced me that this would not be a wise course of action. Then I thought about makiing a papermache pumpkin. It sounded like far too much work. Finaly I went to the shops and bought a rubber pumpkinhead/cowl mask thing. I thought it looked quite cool (tho not very scary as it one of the Friendly Fiends range). I have however discovered three drawbacks that I should have thought about.

1) If I want to have a drink, it will have to be through a straw. I've never drunk wine through a straw. It sounds like a bad idea.

2) It's very hot.

3) I smell like a condom and can't get the taste of rubber out of my mouth.

I suspect I won't be wearing it for long.....

A little entertainment for a sleepy Friday morning (well I'm sleepy anyway). And as always with Manic, there is an important message in there too. Unfortunately I can't remember what that important message is as I'm too busy humming along to the song and have a strange craving for spicy brains....

I was on my way to view a flat yesterday (it was ok but a little expensive) when I passed this fairly old Jamaican guy with two front teeth missing.

"Dyu wah ebuy sum sknk" he mumbles at me.

"Eh?" I think to myself "Did he say he's looking for a Natwest bank?". There was one about 20 yards from where we were standing so I couldn't really understand why he couldn't find it.

"Sorry?" I ask him.

"Do ya want t'buy some skunk?" he says a little more coherently. Ah drugs - makes more sense now! I shake my head politely and move on.

First time anyone has ever offered me drugs before - was I looking particularly in need of a little something yesterday?

(if anyone doesnt get the post title, it's a reference to a Smashmouth song.)

I'm going to take a short blog hiatus. Don't miss me too much.

Always like this song from Zero-7 and the video for it is pretty good too.

... so meet Henry. He's something from my many years long time past ago history. If I knew then what I know now, I wonder if things would have been different?

So last night didn't go quite as well as I hoped on the 'winning stacks of cash' front. That's a bit unfortunate as I did sort of boast a little before hand about taking them all to the cleaners. Oh well, I didn't play that badly and didn't exactly lose a great deal (£4 down at the end of the night - we don't play for huge stakes).

I resisted the urge to wear my sunglasses to the game in an attempt to look 'the part'. Sadly I didnt resist the urge to have half a dozen drinks (including a tequila slammer) before I even got there. First mistake right there I'm thinking.

I started the night well, winning three out of the first four hands and I'm up several pounds already. Confidence was high at this stage. Then my hands dried up and I settled into playing cautiously, my pile of chips slowly shrinking. I'm playing smart. The others however are not sticking to the same rules....

One has lost his whole stake within the first hour and has had to buy back into the game. Another is the classic 'maniac' and is betting and raising every hand, despite the fact that he rarely has anything higher than a pair of 5's or the like. He gets lucky and wins big. Ten minutes later he's lost most of his chips. Then he wins big again. He loses more often than he wins and most of his chips end up in his brothers pile (who is usually the only one that stays in for the hand).

In the end my biggest achilles heal kicks in - boredom. I've been drinking, it's midnight and we've been playing for three hours. I've tried to play the sensible game and I'm only slightly down but in the meantime big hands are won and lost on things such as jack high. I wait for my next good draw - King and Queen, a strong hand considering what sort of hands I've seen played so far - and throw all my chips in. Three aces turn up on the table and of course someone has one in there hand. Best hand all night.

Guess it wasn't meant to be my night...

Still feeling far too lazy to do much in the way of blogging I'm afraid. It's this job - just sucks the life out of you! Plus I'm trying to do a little research on the t'interwebnet on how to play poker as I'm off round to a mates for a bit of a session tonight. Not that I don't know how to play, I just need to remind myself of a few of the rules as it's been such a long time since my last outing. Might win myself some beer money tho....

I was plodding along into work this morning (or maybe bouncing is more accurate as I do have a rather distinctive 'springy' walk that causes me to be mocked by passing children), listening to my mp3 player when I saw the old bloke coming along the pavement towards me. He was like 105 and when he saw me he stopped, gave a toothless grin and started saying something.

I stopped and detached myself from my headphones to see what he was talking about.

"Eighty days to Christmas today!" he tells me.

"Really - wow, that's close" I reply and carry on down the road.

Not sure if it is 80 days to Christmas or not - maybe the old geezer was lying to me. And I know this isn't a particularly exciting story but to be honest I'm so bored I can't muster the energy to do anything today.

Oh, I will leave you with a something interesting tho - 13 foot snake explodes trying to eat 6 foot alligator. Eyes bigger than it's tummy as my mum would say...

Awww, bless the generous old folks.

If I were a cat I certainly wouldnt want to take a dump in this thing....

Prepare for the Rocket Racing League! Wonder if it will be as dull as Formula 1?

Ronnie Barker

And it's goodnight from him.

A bar made entirely of ice. Looks cool! (That was a joke - geddit)

Also, I know you can use scantily clad women in adverts to sell most stuff but coffins?

It's Monday and I'm sure we can all do with something to cheer us up so take a look at this and go "awwwww".

Yet another one of those 'would anyone ever want one' inventions - a hi-tech beermat. Aside from having a shape designed to allow you to knock your pint over more easily, it has a host of other features. The one I like.

Because the mat can also sense being picked up and flapped around, customers can signal an order - with the urgency judged by the speed it is moved.

I can just see a bar full of people frantically waving their arms about in a demented maner to get to the top of the 'who's being served next' table...

First day of term. That time of year again already. It's chaos out there with thousands of stupidly young looking people wandering around trying to figure out where they need to go and spending loads of money on posters that they could get for a quarter of the price in a few weeks time. Once again the shops are so full that I have to go off campus in order to get any food without having to queue for 20 minutes.

On the plus side I did see some cheerleaders earlier....

*ahem*

In other news, I finally told my housemate that I planned on moving out sometime soon. Been putting it off for a while as I wasn't sure how to tell him. Not that I thought he would have a problem with it as he's a top bloke - look up 'nice guy' in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of Mr K. But we have been living together for a good many years (hence being known as 'the gay couple that live down the road' to most people on our street) and it seemed like the end of an era.

So now I actually have to get off my arse and go flat hunting. Quite looking forward to it to be honest. Not the 'having to find somewhere' bit - I get the feeling that's going to be a pain. Or the 'having to spend a load more than I do now and buy lots of exciting stuff like an ironing board and saucepans' bit. But the having my own place bit....

I did live on my own for a fair while many moons ago but I had no job so it wasn't exactly great. Now tho I can have fully stocked wine rack. I can buy arty pictures to go on the wall (although I'm sure I can still find room for my Dangermouse poster). Now I can be grown up!

Yup, grown up.

On seconds thoughts, sod that. Being a big kid is far more fun!

Yesterday a friend of mine got married. Not someone I've seen in a while really - two years almost exactly if I remember rightly (at another friends wedding oddly enough). I didn't go.

Two weeks ago another friend of mine got married. Haven't seen her in two years either - was at the same wedding as the person above actually. I didn't go to that one either.

I kinda feel bad. It wasn't like I had other plans - both weekends involved a lot of being in bed and generally doing very little. So why didn't I go? Well if they had asked me I would have told them the truth - I simply don't think I could have handled it.

Both of the people above were part of a group of friends I made at university. After we finished, we all promised to stay in touch and for a while we did. The odd party here, the occasional get together there. But then as is want to happen as time passes, things changed. We all got down to the business of having lives of our own and slowly the group drifted apart. Now the only time we really see each other as a group is for events like weddings.

So when I got both my invites a few months back, I knew all of the old group would turn up and with them would be their significant others - wives, long term boyfriends, fiancés etc.. All of them there with that person that they have decided to spend the rest of their life with - or at least the forseeable future. And right there is the crux of the problem.

I am the only one left. I would be the only one sat there with no one. I would have to sit listening to talk of babies that are due or have already been born, of weddings that are planned, of houses that have been bought to share.

Am I bitter? Damn right.

Weddings are supposed to be happy events. The last thing you need at one is some sad sack trying to avoid everyone whilst he tries to find the answers at the bottom of the glass of free wine he has been given. So I stayed away and I will for all of those weddings yet to come.

Even tho I know neither of them will ever read this, I hope they know I wish them all the best....