Did I mention I invented a new drink? A shot actually. It's not listed on Webtender and that's good enough for me to assume it's new.

Triple sec and sloe gin. I'm still trying to think of a name for it. The sloe gin will make it slow, not sure what triple sec adds to a name but it is orangey. I'll give it some thought....

It's just wrong! Wrong I tell you!!

I have really got no idea what I'm doing either - Hapland 3.

I could pretend I was linking to this video cos it's amusing. Somehow, I don't think you'd believe me tho.....

Great song, cheap video. And for some reason it has Columbo in it...

These two do quite a good job of recreating the video.

List of all the new words and phrasesmade up by the Simpsons. Some really shouldn't be in there but I'll let them off. My fave, Unblowuppable!!

More and more people are being buried with their mobile phones it seems. I'm sure St Peter has a special trapdoor next to the pearly gates for those that turn up with phone in hand and the 'crazy frog' ringing out...

Bit of an old story but worth telling. Considering I usually don't even bother to tear up any credit card applications that come through to me, I'm now considering setting them on fire and sneaking out late at night to bury the remains in a forest somewhere.

On a related note, anyone out there after a freebie might be interested in this. Sign up for a BMI Classic Mastercard and you get 20,000 free air miles. Thats enough for a return flight to Russia amongst other places. All you have to do is make a purchase on it (and pay it off in full at the end of the month unless you want to start paying interest) and you can then just cancel the card a few months down the line.

I've been looking at this for the last couple of days but unfortunately I think most of the airports they fly from would involve lots of extra cost for me to get there and thus make it less worth the effort of applying.

Sing the blues with this desktop blues simulator

A tricky but pretty game - Fancypants.

Recently Radio 1 have just gone on and on and on about podcasts! Seriously, they just won't shut up about them. Now I've never been that interested in podcasting to be honest. I can see how it can be good with the ability to subscibe to podcasts (much like RSS for audio files if I'm not wrong?) and have some good creative content to listen to on your mp3 player rather than just listening to your own music collection all the time. When I get my internet connection sorted out at home I may well subscribe to a few and see what I think.

Anyway, out of curiosity today I went to the Radio 1 website and downloaded a few of their podcasts. I wasn't impressed. The Moyles podcast is just 30 minutes of him talking with no music at all - pretty much like one of his normal shows just shorter really. Harsh but perfectly true I think you'll find. So Radio 1, stop going on 'bout your podcasts, they are pants!

I don't mean to be so negative about Chris Moyles but frankly he annoys the hell out of me. He's not funny, he won't shut up, he plays the same little sound bites over and over and over in some attempt to be humorous and his 'crew' spend most of thier time sucking up to him. I had Radio 1 set on my alarm clock for years until he came on the air and now I prefer listening to the kids over on Takeover Radio as even they are less annoying....

Bargain price for something the size of London.

They must be stopped!
*looks about*

The aliens.... they're stealing our cows.

You would indeed have to class this as one of the greatest fight scenes of all time. Such... amazing(?!) acting! You may want to watch it without sound unless you are a fan of fantastic dialoug such as "Huu, hyaaaa, huuaaar, haa!" but be sure to put the sound on for the last 5 seconds and the witty one liners.

I really do get fed up with industry people trying to convince us that mobile phones will be the central point of our lives and change social habits. For instance

"Some exceptionally tech-savvy young men, the report found, won the hearts of women simply by impressing them with the use of their hi-tech tool, labelled natching by the Future Laboratory."

I mean really, are you going to get all turned on by someone that shows you how to surf the internet on their phone ladies??

It's art - apparently. Leap-cock

I promised Miss C that by today I'd be feeling fine again. Unfortunately I didn't take into account a restless night. Too much waking up to cough. Too many dreams where the answer to all my problems was within my grasp but I couldn't quite make sense of it. Far too many dreams about Angela Lansbury!!

I feel like I haven't slept for days......

I awoke feeling a bit rough. I thought it could have been the three glasses of wine I'd had the night before. It could have been the fact that I stayed up reading much later than I should. It could have been that it was 6am at the time. Then I coughed.

This would be the downside of having a girlfriend with a cold then.....

The aching limbs and loss of energy started about an hour ago. I lost my voice at about the same time. The cold shakes are just beginning.

Fun day at work for me ahead. ;)

An interesting (bad grammar to use the same word twice like that but never mind) article about the flourishing organ trade in China - a lot of them from executed prisoners apparently.

It's funny cos it's true.

The Animaniacs wasn't just a great cartoon, it was also very informative too. For instance, Yakko's World. I do remember that episode as well.

Ok I love you bubbye.

(Thanks to The Presurfer for the memory jog)

Trek Passions - online dating for sci-fi fans. Doesn't seem to be too popular yet....

Wartermelon carvings. Nuff said.

I remember when Radio 1 had a period of playing some audio Batman adventures. This is nothing like that at all. Download the podcast and then follow the adventures of Midnight Teabagger and Poopmonkey!

"Lesbians stand down or face the wrath of my twin testicles of fury!!"

I'm sure there were a lot of important things going on in the world yesterday. Wars starting, new scientific discoveries being made, governments being elected, new types of pudding being created etc.. However one thing you won't have found mentioned on any website or news channel was an event a little closer to home. To my home anyway. Yesterday - for the first time - Miss C took me back to meet her parents.

This wasn't just the first time she took me to meet them, this was the first time anyone had ever taken me home to meet their parents!

Was I nervous. Nah, course not.... ok, maybe a little, but it went well and I was treated to a lovely meal and a few drinks. My jaw may have ached slightly after having been set in a permanant cheesy smile like those you see synchronized swimmers using. I was trying to make a good impression though and smiling seemed important. It's also easier to do than trying to think of something intelligent to say.

I'm not too worried about the return leg - I'd actually have to tell my family about Miss C before that happens....

Todays rany - albeit a tiny one as I'm far too bored to manage a big one - is about Dollond and Aitchison. I've been with them for a few years and they are pleasant enough. They do however charge me £25 a month for contact lenses. Being lazy I couldnt be arsed to change but with the added expense of my new flat, I though I'd save a bit by switching to Asda contact lenses. I placed an order online a few days ago and left it with Asda. They ring me to tell me that D&A won't give them my prescription. Gits are going to make me walk all the way down to get it myself - presumably so they can start asking why I want to switch suppliers. Grrr.

Further to my ranting yesterday, I do have to say the call centre support staff for UKOnline are all very nice even if the service is pants. PANTS!!

CO2 levels are at highest level for a million years. Nothing to worry about tho....

In case anyone happens to end up here after searching for a review of UKOnline as a broadband service provider let me just say they are pants. PANTS!!

Just over 6 weeks now and still no internet connection. 15 days they state is the time it takes. Everytime I phone all I get is "We are still waiting to hear from BT about this. I'll put another ticket through for you". Fine, BT are also pants (3 weeks to get my phone line connected) - I accept that - but how can they seriously expect a rival broadband company to rush this through for them when they don't really seem that bothered about chasing them up on it. They just seem happy to accept BT's "Yeah, we'll do it for you at some point I suppose" answer.

Rant over.

Least I'm not the only one. Listening to Capital Life the other night and the DJ had a little rant about how Wanadoo kept here waiting for 6 weeks and so she'd cancelled but still can't get broadband from a new ISP as Wanadoo won't release the line. At least she got to bad mouth them on national radio though...

Or not. I had my first proper look and think about a new site design over the weekend. I didn't get very far. Oh I have a few ideas that I want to use but I need more of a solid plan before I can go any further. An image in my head of the basic page layout. A starting point!

Of course one of the focal points of a new design is the logo. It took me a long time to come up with the one you can see above and I'd have to 'fess up to it not being all my own work. Lacking much in the way of arty skills I... err... 'borrowed' several pictures from around the interwebnet, did a quick hand sketch that combined them, scanned it and then traced it before adding the finishing touches. The keyboard is all mine actually (about shows the level of my artistic talent that I can draw a rectangular box and put some squares on it).

Again I have ideas about my new logo but turning those lovely images in my head into something that doesn't resemble the work of a four year old who has been playing with his new crayon set is a different matter....

You dear readers can help. BlogMonkey v2.0 shall be more colourfull than the little chap above. But what colour? I have an inkling but I thought I'd put it out there and see what suggestions others can come up with. When you picture BlogMonkey, what colour do you see...?

This is so bad it's almost good. It's a 40 year old, five minute demo clip made by the guy that did the old Batman series when he was trying to sell his next idea - Wonder Woman - to the TV networks. watch and chortle at the stunning acting.

(link via NeedCoffee.com)

Mmmmmmmm. I wish someone would be 'creative' with my plumbing.....

Beedogs. Does what it says on the tin.

(link via The Presurfer)

Well, gotta give the guy credit for a good try.

C'mon, we've all been there - Unrequited Love: Agony and Rapture....

It's just...... wrong!

(Kinda NSFW and definitely not conducive for getting a good nights sleep either)

Saves you having to scroll through many pages - Flickr Leech

I was in a chip shop sat in very tall chair talking to the greek owner. I can't remember what I was eating but it can't have been very exciting as I'd been sat there for some time picking at it. The place was virtually empty, just one other person sat in the corner with a bag of chips.

Suddenly everything changed and I was sat outside. I made my way back inside with my chair and tried to find somewhere to put it. The place was very busy now. I placed the chair next to a table but it fell over as one of it's legs had dissapeared. The greek owner started shouting at me about something and pointing at the ceiling where a naked light hung - he wanted me to go and find a shade for it.

I went into the back of the shop and down the stairs where I could hear the voice of an old university friend. Thinking he'd be able to help me find a lightshade I carried on down. He was stood in the middle of a huge and posh room - far larger than it should have been - talking to someone on the phone. It seemed so odd as he always prefered the simple life that I left, heading upstairs.

I knew it for what it was now - a dream. Things had been changing too rapidly for it to be anything else. It's a funny sensation to know you are dreaming. I started repeating to myself "I don't like this dream anymore, something bad is going to happen". There was a bathroom to the left and I looked in the door as I passed, catching a glimpse of several victorian dresses for a child hanging up. I stopped and went back for a better look. The room was full of these dreses. My sense of dread grew.

From behind the door a giant doll with a china head emerged. She was dressed in the same clothes that hung around the room. She lunged at me and I dodged to the side, pushing her down the stairs. A second, larger doll followed the first and leapt onto me. I awoke with a moan.

Analyze that Freud!!

Some pictures on the BBC of President Bush trying his hand at cricket. Personally I think he's just trying out to join these nice fellows...



(link via the lovely Kel)

Stuck for a present to get your little nephew or neice? Why not go for something classy like these new cuddly toys - PEE&POO. I expect more bodily functions to be included soon so I'm keeping an eye out for their new friend Spew...

The video is quite good but they can't spell symphony....

And this is a very cathy ska tune about the wonders of kelp. It's got explosions and people in funny hats and dancing. Oh, and kelp.

I knew it might be one of those days when I took the milk and fruit juice out of my fridge this morning and proceeded to pour cranberry juice all over my All-bran. Gave it a snappy fruity taste I suppose.....

The blurb says it all.

This album was created in thirty days by thirty different artists, in a sort of chain-collaboration where one finished at midnight and passed it on to the next to continue the set....

Takes a while to download but I'm listening to it at the moment. So far seems pretty electronic, which is good if you like that sort of thing.

30 Days

Sorry for anyone that was trying to access this page this afternoon and found it missing. Blogger seemed to wipe the index when I tried to publish the last post. Didn't even notice. All republished and super now tho.

Sing along now - "The Siiiimpsoooons...."

When you don't have time to properly blog, fall back on an old favoutite - cats with their heads stuck.

Chocolate makes you live longer. Fantastic! And I can easily eat 100g of dark chocolate a day....

On a totally different note, sex with someone else is 400% better. Apparently.

Exactly why the suggestion came about I really can't remember but at some point on a work night out many months ago, someone said we should go for a medieval night out. These sorts of ideas do get floated from time to time - a work trip to Alton Towers, a bowling night out, that sort of thing - but usually nothing ever comes of it. Lo and behold, someone actually got round to organising it this time.

A few of us met for a quick drink on Saturday before we had to meet at work and catch a taxi. It occurred to me as I left the pub that I possibly should have popped to the loo first but as it's only about 30 minutes drive to the place I reckoned I was ok. In hindsight, not such a great idea.

The taxi driver decided to be a smart arse and take a shortcut, a shortcut that took us straight into heavy traffic. Twenty minutes later we've moved about 200 yards and I'm starting to get a little worried. We finally got back under way but by this point it was too late, the need for the toilet was foremost in my mind. As I'm sure you are all aware, thinking about it only makes it worse.

I tried to take my mind off it by looking out the window at the stars. It's didn't help. I tried to distract myself by texting Miss C but for some reason she seemed less than interested in my impending backseat disaster. I loosened my seatbelt and fidgeted about trying to find a position that put the minimum pressure on my overstressed bladder. By the time the first road signs started appearing for the place letting me know that we were close I was franticly strumming my fingers on my legs in the vain hope that somehow it would make a difference. I had to do something tho - anything!

I virtually leapt out of the taxi as it pulled to a stop.

It has to be said that the relief of release is one of life's forgotten pleasures. It's just a shame that you have to go through so much pain first....

Now that I have discovered that I don't actually need a chair for my desk as I can just pull my sofa up and sit on that instead, I shall hopefully soon start on my planned updates for the blog. A new spangly layout and other new things (if there are any arty types out there that want to help me with my new logo....).

In the meantime I'll just have to try something new instead - embedded Google videos. If this works, you should see a clip below for the HINOI team ft Korikki doing a little number called Sticky, Tricky and Bang. Why the guy appears to be wearing a nappy, I really dont know...

Everything you'd want to know about rainbows.

(link via The Presurfer)

I'm sure this is actually very educational and useful for the more active women out there but I'm only really posting it cos it's got simulated jubblies in it.

Think this is only going to become more common in the future. Must admit having a meter makes me much more aware of the water I am using and much more likely to stop wasting it.

I actually won! You may remember that some weeks back I signed up for online betting and since then I've been having a few little flutters (my initial excitment and £1 bets soon trailed off and I'm down to one or two 50p bets a week). I had no luck at all but finally yesterday a 4-way bet came in on some of the international football matches last night (England causing me to panic by leaving it until the last minute to win).

Ok, I'll admit I only won £6.40 which technically means I'm only up 90p on what I've already bet and lost previously. Still, nice to be in winning ways for a change.