Friday, April 28, 2006
Only one post for yu lot today - and consider yourself lukcy! ;)The Tactical Ice Cream Unit.
I'll have a flake in mine please. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:46 PM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
A while ago I found a story that I was going to post until I promptly lost the website address and was unable to ever find it. Today however it has been rediscovered and although the original site appears to be down, you can still see it here.Basic story is a guy bet his girlfriend that he could make a website that got two million hits and she said she'd have a threesome if he did. Real story or cunning web viral, who knows.
Anyway, reason I found it today was this spookily familiar site has appeared. I mean really, if the guy wants to rip off someone elses idea in the hope of getting a little tripple lovin' then whatever but at least have the decency to not blatantly copy the whole site over!! He's even left the dates the same at the bottom - starting in March - even though the domain was only register in April. I wonder if this plagarism is the reason the other site is currently offline?
And mate, did you not think to put a few adds on the site? Considering you are going to reach the 2 mil mark by tomorrow, you could have made a bit of money..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:46 PM
(Courtesy of Mr Poons) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:00 PM
I don't feel very well......
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 8:42 AM
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Not the news we get over here unfortunately. Would make the news more interesting. Ranting religious nutjob. And I don't use the term nutjob lightly....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 2:44 PM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
How come the council keep sending the council tax bills for my new flat to my old address? I don't live there anymore - that's why you are sending me bills. Remember!?Why do you have to give your contact details to charities a lot of the time when you make a simple donation? All I want to do is give you money! I don't really want a twice yearly newsletter or begging letters every few months!
Why do the automatic doors on Midland Mainline trains sound so crap and annoying? No gentle "fwuusssssh" noise when they open, just a horrible grinding sound. If the doors on Star Trek sounded like that, no one would ever use them they would just beam themselves everywhere. Which incidentally reminds me, why does the security crew have to take the lifts and run to an emergency (always arriving a little too late) when they could simply transport themselves there in second and deal with the problem.
Is it wrong to want to beat people with their own severed legs when they spend an HOUR playing football and shouting in the road at 3am - keeping you and your girlfriend awake!? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:09 PM
When I get old do not let me get pets and make them one of these. Unless it's fusion powered and has lasers on it.
(links via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:03 PM
Monday, April 24, 2006
A little late on this one. I'm not sure what is more worrying, that Cherie wasted almost £8000 on hair styling over a one month period, that this was deemed important for getting re-elected or that even after all that money she still looks a wench (my word of the moment)....
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 8:52 AM
management-speak bollocks
dj pants at bt internet (I don't know what DJ pants are but I think I want some)
monkey taking shower
purchase a pole dance pole by direct debit
mail-order sperm uk
I've also had an alarming number of people looking for 'Unwanted Sex' and 'yiffing' this month.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:36 AM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
With a week and a half off work I struggled to find the motivation to post. So, a quick summary of BlogMonkeys activities over the last week or so.Wedding - good. Bride - gorgeous. Bar - free. BlogMonkey - drunk and playing with floaty balloons.
I don't care if they are sponsored by British Airways, a trip on the London Eye is NOT a flight. You do NOT come into land when it's almost over! Also it should be noted that prebooking a ticket does not mean you book a ride for that time, it simply means you don't have to queue (much) for tickets when there. You do still have to go and wait in line for the actual ride.
A week off work has resulted in a dirty flat, few proper meals being eaten (unless toast and chocolate now count as a proper meals?) and far too much time spent playing games. And I don't mean monopoly.
If you go to Leeds and like Indy music, check out Soul Circus. I'm not much of one for clubbing (or indy music for that matter) but I had a darn good night there. Go team Dave!! (you had to be there)
After screwing me around for ages with my broadband connection, I have got some payback on UKonline. After refunding my last payment to them as I still wasn't connected (I was due to get connecteda few days later), they didn't bother to change the payment dates and the next one has just gone out - giving me 3 weeks free!
Homebase employees are tossers. When I bought my sofa I was told I could sign up for a loyalty card and would get £40 in vouchers because of what I'd spent. I checked and found that forty would be the amount if I'd spent £400, wheras I'd actually spent £399.99 (plus thirty five quid delivery). I thought the guy and been nice and just rounded it up for me until I got my SEVEN POUND voucher through the post. Tossers I tell you.....
There was probably more. I've forgotten it. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 6:50 PM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
I'm off to London this weekend for the wedding of my best friend - or at least the drunken evening bash. Now the very (very) astute may have noticed that considering it is my very dearest friend, I never actually mentioned her getting engaged. Births, marriages, deaths - all get a mention on here usually. But not this.Truth be told I wanted to say something. So why didn't I? Well, one word can pretty much sum it up - jealousy. Everytime I thought about posting something I started to worry that it would end up becoming a post where I lamented the fact that all my friends were happily married and popping kids out all over the place and not one where I actually wished her every happiness. That a post meant to be for her would end up selfishly being a post about me.
But you know what, I do wish her every happiness. I can't really begin to say why she means so much to me but I'm sure most people out there have a similar friend and don't need me to explain to be able to understand what I mean. The sort of friend that's there for you whenever you need them. That puts up with long, self pitying emails and says the right things to make you feel better. That sends you flowers when you feel a bit low. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for her I would not be the man I am today.
The little smile on her face everytime she looks at her engagement ring (which is quite often) tells me just how happy she is and she really deserves it. She's had a hard time recently as her father went missing almost two years ago (see here if you think you might be able to help) and I'm glad the universe saw fit to balance that out somewhat.
Love you babe! And best of all, as she'll be away on her honeymoon, she won't get to see this post and how soppy I've been. Result!
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 6:55 AM
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Ever wonder what the Easter bunny does for the other 364 days of the year? Wonder no more.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 6:51 AM
Monday, April 10, 2006
Just wanted to say congratulations to a couple of my dear friends who just had their second addition to the family - little Iris. I'd post a picture but hell, one baby looks much like any other to me. :)As it's also the run up to Easter and I only have a three day week this week (perk of working in higher education) I strongly suspect my motication will be low and bloggage light. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:15 PM
Friday, April 07, 2006
This autistic guy has designed his own city called Urville and is even getting the tourist guide published. Some pretty amazing drawings.
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:25 PM
"I asked 'do you speaka my language?'Also, am I the only one that wants to play I'm So Excited by the Pointer Sisters whenever it's Friday just because of that Crunchie advert? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:37 AM
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich."
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
A recent study has found that 90% of people can't tell a real website from a phishing site. Sounds shocking - right? Taking a closer looks shows that this has just been blown out of proportion to make an alarming sounding news item.The study (involving a whole *gasp* 22 people) actually shows that only the most sophisticated scam sites fooled 90% of the people - the average was actually only 40%. That figure isn't really that surprising as the sites can be made particularly hard to spot. Maybe rather than saying they need to make fake sites easier to spot, they should be focusing on the 5% of people who are stupid enough to click on the links in phishing emails in the first place... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:53 PM
1. Sit in shower for 5 mins or preferably in the bath for 45 minutes to allow the skin to soften.
2. Randomly lather face with minty fresh shaving gel whilst going "Whoooah" as your eyes start to water
3. Follow roughly the same steps as in the guide and shave 'with the grain'.
4. Go back to step 2. and repeat but this time going against the grain. My grain also seems to go in various different directions so add left, right and diagonal strokes to the shaving action.
5. Dab little spots of blood with tissue.
6. Apply aftershave. Wince as needed.
As for using a fresh blade every time - do they know how expensive that is! I was chatting to Miss C a while ago where she was saying about the ridiculous price of razor blades and I agreed. I then asked her how often she needed to change them and I was amazed when she tells me about every 4-6 weeks. Mine last a week at best!! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:58 AM
Video of the day has to go to the guy that created this picture for making me go "Ooooooh" like a big kid.
Unfortunately the movies that are linked to on this forum don't seem to be there anymore. Not that surprising considering whenever anything like this surfaces it's usually swamped within hours by thirty somethings trying to show the kids of today what proper Transformers were all about rather than the pathetic excuse for a cartoon show they have on today. You can still catch a low res version here but I'll be keeping an eye on on his website to see if there are more updates soon. Hopefully the live action movie being made will be of this ilk.
If only we'd had this technology 20 years ago when I remember being sat in the playground with some friends discussing how we could produce a Transformers movie using some cardboard sets, our toys and an old cine camera.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:16 AM
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Here's a site that will keep you occupied for a fair while - Heavy.com. Take your time have a good look around the site and let the weirdness wash over you like a small tidal wave of slightly warm custard. My personal recommendations...Kung Faux - some wicked martial arts action.
Gangsta Nanny 911 - Stop stealing shit, yo!
Hardtack Montana, the Tourettes Cowboy - Meat helmet flapjacks.
The American Suck Countdown.
(original find courtesy of Worcesterfari) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:08 PM
(link via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:15 AM
Monday, April 03, 2006
Seems the US debt clock (although I'm sure that should be counter rather than clock) won't have enough digits to show the debt soon. But then where do you buy a counter that can display the figure 10 trillion......
# posted by
The BlogMonkey @ 3:28 PM
