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"You see at the end of this wormhole lies… A ROOM WITH A MOOSE!!!!"
Zim - Invader Zim






© 2004 BlogMonkey

Seems that a new sort of virus is about, one that locks away all your files and tries to force you to pay to get them back. Ransomware it's called. Actually it's been a concept for quite a long time, it just looks like people are only now starting to put it to use.

So be careful what you click 'OK' to when surfing the internet... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:33 PM     
So the question is kiddies, to Blogathon or not to Blogathon this year...? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:13 PM     
Freeware for all ocassions.

(link via The Presurfer) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:13 AM     
Squirrels with cameras.

You want to look - you know you do... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:08 AM     
As long time readers might have noticed, every four months or so I decide my music collection needs a boost and so I start fishing about on eBay for some cheap stuff. So far I've bought KT Tunstall, BT and Kosheen. People keep outbidding me on other things I have my eye on but I'm patient. I'll bide my time. I've learnt in the past that a CD you're after will go for a fiver as several people are after it but the following week you'll pick it up for £0.01. Plus I don't like spending more than £3 on any CD if I can help it.

On top of buying some stuff I've also been looking at downloading free stuff. Yup, there are artists out there that want to get their music out and are not so fussed about making loads of money. One of those is Brad Suck - a long time link over on my sidebar. I like some of his stuff, not so keen on other bits but I finally decided to download his album and put it on CD for a proper listen (rather than on my cheap, tinny computer speakers). I'm getting into it more the more I listen to it. Even Miss C said it was ok and normally she pulls funny faces whenever I stick any of my CDs on (weird is one of the nicer words she uses to describe my music collection). For the cost of a blank CD it's a bargain and I may well throw a few quid his way to say thanks.

One of the remixes of his songs (Track 17 on this page) by a bloke called D Howse caught my ear as well so I've been listening to some of his stuff too.

It's worth looking around peeps. Never know what you might find. Just as long as it's not the next Arctic Monkeys. Yeah, you might want to turn those speakers down a tad... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:52 PM     
All I want to know is why would he want to get his todger out on the top of Everest in the first place? Did he get to the top and go

"Ah ha! I have done it! I feel so strong! I feel so overwhelmingly happy. I feel such a sense of achievement! I feel like.... exposing myself!!" # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:34 PM     
More scary as you know that one day in your life you are bound to meet someone like this and then you'll not be able to go to sleep again without checking under your bed to see if they are hiding there.

"And I am happy, I am relaxed!" # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 1:47 PM     
Look at me - on a blogging frenzy today. I couldn't pass up this story tho, just because of the title really.

Scientists Grow Artificial Penis in Lab.

Funny that I haven't seen this on the BBC News site yet... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:24 PM     
She likes big balls yo! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:20 PM     
Quite a dark stop motion animation called Android 207. I do think the spikey killer death robot is cool tho. Very menacing and er... spikey. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:57 AM     
Teenagers are using an ultra high frequency ringtone that only they can hear to get round having to turn their phones off at school. Very resourceful. Except they still can't answer their phones of course or the teacher will see. And I assume they have never heard of the (much more fun) vibrate function. Considering the annoying ringtones kids usually put on their phones, maybe ones adults can't hear is actually a good thing....

Back to more improtant things (like beer), I so want my local to get one of these iBars!
# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:32 AM     
Seems a sex theme park is to open in London (no rides unfortunately). It will have various zones, such as Pleasure and Orgasm (queue "Can you tell me how to get to the G-Spot please? jokes).

"People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of body parts."

How erotic does that sound - playing around with dismembered silicon body parts! And will you be able to build a woman with four breasts?

"...there will be instructions on how best to kiss and how to talk more sexily

And I thought I was doing fine with "'Ey up lass, can't wait to get my hands on those jubblies of yours!". Sexy - non? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:22 AM     
Now I have no need to feel guilty for that glass or two of wine every night - I'm making myself more healthy. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:51 AM     
No posts for the last two days but I have an excuse. No, honest. Stop looking at me like that!

Yesterday was just dead mad busy. Software deadlines coming up and me working hard (for once). The day before I had a headache. For me that's unsual as I don't usually get ill in any way. It started when I woke up at 6am and got slowly worse as the day went on. It got to the stage where I was having trouble concentrating on doing anything really and paracetamol wasn't helping. Didn't want to go home though as sickness is for the weak. The weak I tell you!! Strangely enough the only thing that seemed to ease it by the end of the day was the pint of Carling I had that night. Will the wonders of beer never cease?

I blame the headache on my telephone call to the local council the previous afternoon to sort out a minor address problem. Thirty minutes of listening to the same 20 second clip of music followed by a helpful woman saying "If you have now lost the will to live and have decided to pay by direct debit after all, we can attempt to transfer you now". Whichever mental midget thought that repeating that same message every couple of dozen seconds would seriously rate as a good idea should be taken out, covered in peanut butter and thrown in a sack of ravenous squirrels!! # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:29 AM     
Coming to a cinema near you soon....

10 Things I Hate About Commandments - staring Samuel L Jackson as Principle Firebush.

Das Vinci Code - it's Harry Potter for Adults. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:47 AM     
Brace yourself, turn up the volume and take a trip down to jazz town with the Cosby Bebop. Hmmm, nice.

No, I really have no idea what I'm going on about either - I blame weird ass dreams and lack of sleep. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:13 AM     
Q. What do you get if you cross the Power Rangers with Army of Darkness?

A. A night of weird ass dreams I can tell you... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:00 AM     
Whole site full of cute shiny robots OF DOOM!!! Nifty even tho they will one day become our supreme robotic overlords...

(link via needcoffee.com) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:42 PM     
Good advert.

# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:37 PM     
No need to feel worried about terrorism folks, everything is snuggly and secure!

"We're watching you because we love you" # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:06 PM     
Seventy thousand beer cans discovered in a rented house. Thats a lot of beer. He obviously liked his Corrs. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:01 PM     
Moves are underway to introduce smart meters around the house so people can see how much gas/'lecy/water they are using and have an incentive to cut usage. Sounds good although I tend to watch my meters carefully anyway. Except the water meter which is hidden away in the basement of the building somewhere.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:58 AM     
Sodding spammers. Nuff said. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:50 AM     
For the first time in years I watched the Eurovision Song Contest last night. I'd forgotten just how funny it could be! Few glasses of wine and you can just sit taking the p*ss out of about 80% of the songs that come on. The outfits, the overacting the instantly forgetable lyrics and tunes - all great entertainment. I think Lordi did indeed deserve to win as it was certainly entertaining. My hopeful was Lithuania however - any song with the lyrics "We are the winners of Eurovision" repeated over and over as well as a plea for people to vote for them is a class act in my book. Quite catchy too. Special shout out to the Moldova entry from Miss C tho.

I think all the people moaning on the BBC comments page about the UK never being able to win because of political voting need to get a real grip on reality. Sure some of the voting is political but I think it can only influence things to a certain degree. The simple fact was that our entry - by Daz Sampson - was total shite ('scuse my french). I was amazed by how many radio DJs were behind this song and not pointing out that it actually stood no chance in hell of winning.

Be sure to check out his blog too. Looks like it was written by a twelve year old. Nice to see he also was purely in this for the pride of the UK and not for profit

"love or hate my song, surely if you are a true UK eurovision fan or you're just a proud Brit it makes sense for you to back the UK entry this year and send us off to Athens with a top ten hit behind us.

Lets show Europe we love this competition and can beat the rest.

I urge you to buy a download from iTunes this week and help me in my plight to restore the good name of this great country of ours in Eurovision. It's your chance to do your bit."

Prat....

Edit Highlights for those that missed it.

Lordi - Hardrock Hallelujah.
LT United - We are the winners.
Arsenium & Natalia Gordienco - Loca (she wants poka every night apparently).

And the bad...
cosmos - i hear your heart (strange Michael J thing going on there...).
Daz Sampson - Teenage Life (it's like watching your dad trying to rap and be cool) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:42 PM     
I've posted links and embedded a few videos of late from the YouTube site but it was only last week that I started looking around it properly.

Oooooh. You should check it out too. Not just a place for silly viral stuff.

Now I can spend half my working day watching illegal copies of JLU or Invader Zim!! Not that I would of course......

*cough* # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:50 PM     
It's always nice to get pressies through the post. It's even better when the parcel you receive contains a selection of stuff from this place! So much sugary goodness, mmmmmmmmm.......

I've said it already but thanks again duck. You know how to make a man feel happy (and slightly sick/hyperactive). # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 3:33 PM     
Only found out the other day whilst seraching around for something on the internet, that Christopher Reeves wife had died a couple of months back. Can't say I'd ever particularly heard anything about her up until that point but it struck me as sad for some reason... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:14 AM     
These pictures are pretty interesting. And pretty.

I also really like these photos - dreams of flying. Very clever # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 7:11 AM     
A couple of months back I mentioned that a friend of mine had given birth to a little girl with Downs Syndrome. I went to visit them when down in London in April for another friends wedding. She was a gorgeous little thing with a grip like a wrestler and the tendancy to pull funny faces (which obviously meant I had to pull funny faces right back. The funny noises I do without prompting).

My friend told me yesterday that she is going to have to go into hospital next month to have two small holes in her heart closed up.

Poor little mite.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:20 AM     
You know how sometimes you just can't quite decide if something you find on the internet is serious or not as it just seems so.... weird? Well, either way I want one of these SurvivalBalls.

"...will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts."

Really, you guys serious?

Damn tho, these thing come with lasers or pulsed plasma projectors (or could be some sort of nerf ball gun....). # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:54 PM     
Join MySpace, post a picture and become an internet celebrity, just like this guy.

Bet all the ladies love him... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 2:40 PM     
Anyone that has really bad asthma may want to consider this approach to curing it. Then again after reading that, you really might not.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:21 PM     
I couldn't possibly agree with any of this.

*Cough* # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:16 PM     
I was watching an episode of Holby City the other night (no of course I don't like it, it just happened to be on and Miss C is quite fond of it. And it's daft - they all seem willing to lie through their teeth and do immoral things one minute and yet the next they confess to someone that they've done something immoral when they would be much better off just keeping quiet. Anyway...) and was surprised when they had a bit about organ donation. The dead person was a registered organ donor and yet the grieving husband had the ultimate say in if they could harvest her organs. I was sure that couldn't be right? If someone registers as an organ donor and makes their wishes known that way, how can someone else override it?

And with organ donations this low, maybe that should be changed.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:07 PM     
Even though I suspect the email that pointed this out to me might be spam, it is still quite interesting. A global mosaic. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:42 AM     
An interesting idea to reduce household waste. The thing is, I have no garden so what would I actually do with all the compost I made? Plus I actually have a huge bag of compost after I was forced to buy a 10 litre bag just so that I could repot a houseplant that was looking a little sad...

(link via Sue) # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:34 AM     
Babysuit. Not one to wear to an interview I'm thinking... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:28 PM     
Teehee. Mildly NSFW. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:36 AM     
I like these finger people a lot. My fave is this one....

# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 11:13 AM     
I've been doing this job a fair while now (ok, far too long) and I'll admit that even tho I still enjoy doing the helpdesk I mostly have this polite but disinterested attitude nowadays when dealing with people. The someone like Christine comes in. It was like giving IT help to my mum on speed.

Plus I think she fancied me. The accidental brushing of my arm on several occasions gave it away. Best not tell Miss C. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:11 PM     
Cow parade is coming to Edinburgh. Notice the BBC doesn't have a picture of this cow up..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 5:02 PM     
Certain roasted vegetables are as acidic as fizzy drinks.

Excuse me while I find it hard to care if eating excessive amounts of roast aubergine 'may' contribute towards tooth decay... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:57 PM     
A tribe with no concept of numbers, talk by humming and that live only to enjoy the here and now. Doesn't sound so bad... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 4:41 PM     
Must have ben interesting to see. That said, I did blog this 9 months ago..... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:02 PM     
One of Miss C's workmates was having a leaving do tonight and I was invited along. A general lack of food during the day and my 7am start meant I soon felt a little worse for wear. The others headed to a nearby restaurant whilst I went to get some money fom the cash machine.

The waiter came straight over to me when I entered the place and I indicated I was with the large group which was over in the corner - waving at them for effect. It was only the worried noises the waiter was emitting and seeing the rather handsome shaven headed guy walking towards me that alerted me to the fact that I was wlaking towards a large mirrored wall.....

I hate mirrored walls after I've had a few drinks. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:25 PM     
Here is a patent for a systems and method for dispensing an anti-traction, mobility denial material. Or an ooze gun to you and I. I thought those already existed tho? The rioters might actually enjoy it if that first kid is anything to go by. That link is SFW by the way. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:23 AM     
I'm not sure what to say.

No, really.

Twart # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:38 AM     
Not had any of these for a while so a quick roundup of stuff in the news currently.

More than 16,000 species threatened with extinction according to a new list.

The governent need to provide the lead in living greener. Seems it's usually the other way round to me...

The new carbon emissions trading scheme sounds like it's going well.

And Finally, Wyoming is planing another ferret release # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 9:16 AM     
Man covers himself with bees in protest over a dispute between Japan and Korea over some small, uninhabited islands. Seems to be a lot of fuss, couldn't they just flip a coin or share them out equally?

More importnantly though, how did he know he had 187,000 bees on him? Did he count them all first? # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 8:23 AM     
Firefox have been running a competition to get people to create a 30 second add to promote the browser. Watch this and then althogether...

"Wheeeeeeeeee"

And yes thats Whee, not to be confused with Wii or even Weeee. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:38 PM     
Some blokes blog of all his screw ups, oddly enough entitled Damn, I Screwed Up!

"Today I learned that I suck at boiling water."

# posted by The BlogMonkey @ 12:26 PM     
Apparently the US goverment owes London £271,000 in unpaid congestion charges. Sneak out and let down all their tires and make them cycle to work is what I say.

For anyone that's interested, the figure equates to ten cars traveling in London everyday over that period by my calculations. # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:28 AM     
If you ever happened to be baking a cake for someone - lets say a birthday cake for your girlfriend - do not try to replace the double cream it says to use for the topping (a combination of melted chocolate, butter and cream) with Elmlea. It's doesn't work and you end up with something that has the consistency of snot. This then seperates, leaving an oily mess, something that looks like lard and a mass of chocolate.

Would it be wrong that I'm tempted to try eating the chocolate? Seems a shame to let it go to waste.... # posted by The BlogMonkey @ 10:17 AM